Tuesday, October 28, 2008

My Audition for 60 Minutes

I have five fingers on each of my hands. Why five? Homer Simpson and a lot of other cartoon characters get by fine with just four. Some Amish people have six, something fancy talking science people call polydactylism.

My uncle Herman had four on his left hand. He started with five but a German soldier shot of his left ring finger in North Africa. He claimed it itched a lot of the time and that he couldn't scratch it because it wasn't there. That's a hell of a thing.

Herman's father, my grandfather. Had one digit on his right hand. He started with five like most of us but lost evrything but his thumb in an mishap in a sawmill in 1910. It kept him out of the cavalry in Wordl War I even though he was still an excellent shot and a superb horseman. Lucky for me he didn't go to Europe in World War I. I wouldn't have been born with my complete set of ten fingers.

Can I have Andy Rooney's job when he retires?

1 comment:

Mike Gogulski said...

Please, oh please, may you take Andy Rooney's job BEFORE he retired!