Wednesday, May 17, 2006

News Roundup: Take Good Care of that Uterus, It Belongs to Uncle Sam

According to the Washington Post, the US government is encouraging all women between puberty and menopause to consider themselves “pre-pregnant”(unless they are pregnant, of course): http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/05/15/AR2006051500875_pf.html. The feds want women to take steps to preserve the health of their uteri so that blastocyst-Americans in the subclinical period of pregnancies are not inadvertently harmed by women’s bad habits or inattention to health. Good advice, indeed. Do healthy stuff. Eat right. Take vitamins. Don’t drink or smoke or use drugs. Get some exercise. Don’t do it for yourself, though; do it for the uterus. And if you’re past childbearing age, who cares about you and your useless uterus anyway? You are a life support system for a uterus.

It saddens me to report that the Carmel Central School District’s $91 million budget proposal passed by 68 votes. I made sure to cast my no vote, and I wish that the option was “Hell, no” instead of just “no”. And the biggest tax and spend board member was elected by a wide margin. Only a little over 3,000 people voted, and I reckon that parents, teachers and other parasites disproportionately voted. So a 68 vote margin of defeat for the voices of restraint should not be taken as such bad news. With a little GOTV work next time, I bet the non-parasitic constituents in the district could defeat the next budget and eventually take over the board. First the school board, then the world! Bwahaha!

On Rachel Maddow, a representative of a business group came on to discuss its pamphlets that tell Americans how to behave abroad so that everyone doesn’t think we are all a**holes. He reported that American brands were losing favor and that anti-Americanism probably contributes a lot to this. One piece of advice he passed on was that if you can’t stop talking, at least turn down the volume. Also, pretend to be interested in what people are saying and about their culture. Listen to people. Be courteous. For my part, I always like to start out by repudiating the US government and declaring myself an enemy of the state. A lot of people pretend to be Canadian, but if too many ugly Americans do this, then Canadians will get a reputation as louts. Then what nationality will we pretend to be? Australian? When the US is declared a rogue state, we probably won’t be doing much traveling anyway.

The wingnuts are not satisfied with GW Bush’s immigration plan. It is light on fascism and brutality. What good is sending National Guardsmen to the border if they can’t shoot migrants on sight? One of my wingnut conspecifics posed this question in earnest yesterday. I wonder why this issue is so hot right now. Are the Visigoths massing on the border? Or is the wingnut base feeling especially powerful at the moment because it’s all the GOP seems to have? Now’s their chance to get Bush to clamp down on all those pesky freedoms once and for all. Don’t worry, GOP, the wingnuts aren’t going anywhere, and they won’t stay home on election day. They’re bluffing as usual.

I saw Howard Dean on The Daily Show repeat last evening. The establishment democrats want him to concentrate on a few key races, but he is going with a 50 state strategy and conceding no territory. His take was that the key race strategy hadn’t been working so well and that it was time to try something new. I am going to vote for Democrats across the board for the next few years just to punish the GOP. Even if the Democrat is an inanimate object, I will vote for it. I bet there’s a whole bunch of folks like me: Bush Democrats, let’s call them. Not Democrats for Bush, but people who will vote Democratic because of Bush.

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