TULIP For Cretins

I'm an ignoramus when it comes to theology, but my denomination has a convenient mnemonic to help us remember the basic tenets of our belief system: TULIP. Each letter stands for an important aspect of Calvinistic Christianity. I mostly buy into them with some reservations.

I have no issue with the significance of the T for Total Depravity, although I probably wouldn't put it that way if were writing it up. I completely agree that human beings are incapable of effecting their own salvation, which I reckon is the important gist of the T, but I don't know that it is necessary to characterize the species as depraved. As far as I know, whales aren't saved, but that's not because whales suck or anything. Or maybe they are saved, but that's not the point. Humans just aren't self-saving beings in our belief system. It's not that they especially suck or anything in my view. So I like to think of the T as Totally Not Capable of Saving Yourself and leave aside accusations of depravity.

I don't really believe in original sin and the whole economy of sin and sacrifice and redemption. The sin part is beside the point. God loves us and extends his grace and mercy to us, and He calls upon us to do the same for one another. We don't deserve His grace and mercy, and it's not about deserving.

The U is for...I forget what it stands for exactly, but it signifies that God's grace is sufficient to save us. That's what's it all about. Grace. You can't earn it; it's a gift. You don't need grace plus anything, just grace alone. Not grace plus works. Not grace plus say a special prayer. Not grace plus explicit acceptance. Not grace plus baptism, communion, church membership, what have you.

L is for Limited Atonement or some such thing, and this signifies that at least one person will go to hell. I struggle with this one a lot and lean toward universalism. It's not important to me that anyone be damned, and I would not be disappointed if nobody were. Some of the church fathers reckoned that heaven would be so much sweeter thanks to the thought of all those other souls tormented in hell forever, but I don't know that I could contemplate such a thing with pleasure especially if I knew and loved some of those souls. Anyway, it's not up to me. I sometimes take comfort in the notion of eternal damnation for people who piss me off, but this passes when I contemplate that justice dictates that I deserve it as much as lots of folks and maybe more than many.

I is for Irresistible something or other which signifies that there's nothing you can do to resist the gift of grace. If God chooses you, then you're chosen. You were chosen from before the universe was laid down.

P is for Persistence. We used to say "Once Saved, Always saved" for this stance, and I wasn't sure where my Baptist friends stood on the issue. Some seemed to say that you could backslide and fall from grace. Anyway, if God has chosen to save you, you are saved and nothing can unsave you unless God changes His mind. In any event, nothing you can do will determine the mind of God on the issue.

Except for the L, I am pretty comfortable with all these tenets and the contradictions that flow from them. In fact, it's the contradictions that make it so much fun.