Why I Follow Politics

A conspecific asked me the other day why, given my cynicism about the political system, I follow politics and take and interest in it. I reckon it's a form of entertainment for me, a spectator sport. Just as I know that the success or failure of my favorite baseball team is really meaningless to me, I might still find amusement in following the team closely through the season and expressing opinions about what they have done right and wrong, personnel matters and what have you. I don't own any stock in the team. I won't gain or lose anything if the team succeeds or fails. But it can still be fun. That's how I see politics. I don't really have any influence, and the outcome probably won't make a hell of a lot of difference to me in the end. I'm not going to get an ambassadorship or a seat on the federal bench (although I have learned that I am overqualified for the post of Attorney General).

The thing that has piqued my interest most of all over the last few years is the incompetence, corruption, criminality and venality of the GOP. When GW Bush was handed the 2000 election by the douchebags on the Supreme Court, I was appalled that so many of my countrymen were such dupes. In 2004, when fraud in Ohio and elsewhere delivered the election to Bush in a squeaker, I came to realize that a huge number of my countrymen were complete dumbasses. They weren't even dupes. They knew GW Bush was a criminal and voted for him anyway. If Americans do not punish the GOP at the polls, I may not be able to travel abroad any longer out of total shame. I'm already making all kinds of excuses. "You have to understand that we are poorly educated and that our media is run by entertainers. And we allow even the stupidest people to vote. I am not a dumbass myself, you must believe me."

In a way, I blame the Democrats. I am convinced that they really believe that ordinary Americans are the salt of the earth and can be reasoned with. They also clung over long to the idea that the GOP was really trying to do what they thought was right for the country. Note to Democrats: the people are dumbasses who vote with their sphincters, not their brains. Stop trying to reason with them and start duping them. Lie as much as you need to. And the GOP hates America.