Sunday, August 03, 2008

Are you SWAT Material?

This test will determine your aptitude to be a police officer on a SWAT squad.

1. What is your IQ?

If you answered with any number greater than 105, you are completely disqualified. You'd never be satisfied with the pointless work in the company of complete dunderheads. You may stop now.

2. On a scale of 1-11, with eleven being the highest, how big a douchebag are you?

If you answered less than 9, you're disqualified. Only the top 5 percentile of douchebags are SWAT material. Even number 8's on the douchebag scale can't stand to work with these guys, and any less of a douchebag would never be able to do the crap they do.

3. Are you a sniveling physical coward whose cowardice is only "overcome" by the extent of your douchebaggery?

If, so, you are SWAT material. You'll wear full armor and carry weapons way more powerful than your job requires, and you'll mostly be going up against unarmed and unsuspecting citizens as you raid their homes in the night for no good reason. No danger to you, and lots of chances to terrorize helpless people.

4. Are you a sociopath?

If so, SWAT is for you.

1 comment:

Steve Scott said...

"2. On a scale of 1-11"

Eleven? Why not just call it ten? 5. Can you laugh at the movie Spinal Tap? No? You're SWAT material, definitely.