Wednesday, August 27, 2008

McCain's Response to Charges of Marital Infidelity

McCain addresses suspicions that he is a serial adulterer:

"For five and a half years, I didn't have a single woman to have sex with. All I had was my right hand. I didn't even have any pornographic literature or pin ups or anything else to prime the imagination. All I had were the guards who, if I squinted, I could imagine were women, or at least very good female impersonators. I didn't have a full scale latex model of Jenna Jameson's hindquarters and vulva to fool around with. I didn't even have a "fisherman's friend, if you know what I mean. I'm talking five and a half years of deprivation, so don't talk to me about how many sexual partners I've had or will be having."

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