Sunday, August 10, 2008

Observations and Predictions

The Rude Pundit had an intriguing idea. With their budget surplus, the Iraqi government could build bridges in the Twin Cities and rebuild New Orleans using Iraqi contractors and workers exclusively. I would add that they could send over some soldiers to keep the peace during the political conventions this summer. They'd just be returning a favor. They could help us rewrite our Constitution and prevent sectarian violence.

Why is Newt Gingrich in the public eye again? Perhaps a wooden stake should have been employed for everyone's sake. What if he's constantly on the TV with his fat face and smug pontificating all the time? Give him a show on Fox and get it over with. Better yet, put him on CNN up against "The Factor" and bury Bill O. We'll all be stupider for it.

Please let Joe Liebermann be J Sidney's running mate. That would be entertainment! Everybody knows Liebermann's the real Antichrist. The scheme is to get in on J Sidney's non-Antichrist ticket. kill off J Sidney and take power, and then get the apocalypse started. I hope the postapocalyptic dystopia is more like "The Postman" and less like "Road Warrior". One thing I know for sure is that we'll really miss the Jews. Boy are those folks who expected to get Raptured going to be pissed.

How can the Russo-Georgian War affect me, other than by making me sad? I suppose there is the possibility that this thing could spread within the region and that the US could get involved. Inspired by the Ossetians, the Kurds might ramp up their rebellious activities and bring down the wrath of the Turks. The Perisans would have to mobilize, and that would make the Iraqis and their American overlords nervous. Next thing you know, the Russians are in Baghdad, the Pakistanis and Indians have nuked each other, and the Chinese have taken Taiwan. NATO splits apart, and the Germans and Russians divide up Poland between them. France invades Italy and Spain, checked only by the Royal Navy. The US seizes the opportunity to invade Canada and is repelled. British troops take Washington and burn the White House, including the President's stash. Turkey enters the Balkans, checked by a newly expanded Austria and some guys from Venice. That's how I see it playing out. Oh, and Mexico takes back Texas and California.

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