As soon as it's legal in New York, I reckon I'll open up a payday lending office. Returns are something like 1000%, so how can I lose? This won't just be a payday lending office, though. It'll be a whole shopping center for the working poor. There's an abandoned mall off Route 9 that could house the whole shebang.
Inside the payday lending office, we'd also sell lottery tickets. Next door we'll sell cheap liquor and beer and cigarettes. Just down the way, you can rent furniture and appliances. Why wait when you can get it now for just a few dollars a week? There'll be a pawn shop, a tattoo parlor and piercing center, and a jewelry store that will let you buy on time. All the shops in the mall will have layaway.
We'll also have a dollar store area where folks can pick up gewgaws for next to nothing and a huge flea market where they can buy and sell NASCAR memorabilia and knick knacks and inexpensive clothing.
The food court will feature fried dough, those onions made into flower shapes and deep fried, and other fried stuff. Of course, folks can bring a picnic if they like. We'd love for them to make a day of it.
We'll also have a 99 cent theatre and show all kinds of movies.
In the center of the mall, we'd have live entertainment on weekends. We'll have both kinds of music, country and western.
In the parking lot, we'd encourage folks to work on their cars and share parts and such like. If your ride won't run, there's a used car lot, and your job is your credit. Also, you can have a tag sale out of the trunk of your car or the bed of your truck for all we care. You can live in your RV in the parking lot if you like.
I think I can make money on this.