Hierarchy Schmierarchy

The dominance hierarchy between our two dogs is easily misunderstood by outsiders. Jasper, the Salopian Terrier, struts around as if he owns the place and has been known to take food right out of the mouth of Jesse, the Carpathian Shepherd. Jesse moves about stealthily and rarely makes an aggressive move. Jasper looks at first blush to be dominant, but he isn't. Jesse is the king of all he surveys. He's just very comfortable with his position and rank, and he likes Jasper. Jesse is not motivated by food at all, and he will give his food to Jasper unless it is something he really cares about, like a ham bone for instance. Then Jasper knows that he must keep his distance and wait for Jesse to finish. Jasper knows that Mrs Vache Folle belongs to Jesse and that he has to wait his turn to greet her. Jasper knows that Jesse owns the sofa and that he has to wait for Jesse to give him the signal that it's OK to join him. Jesse is a gracious leader, unlike our last alpha dog, Cassidy the Bitch Queen from Hell.

This situation reminds me of the status hierarchy in my hometown when I was a kid. It was not as simple as a direct correlation between status and income or wealth. There was a huge difference between old money and new money, and no amount of money would raise you much above the status of your birth. New money folks were ostentatious in their spending and consumption, and they were often douchebags to those less prosperous than themselves. Old money tended to avoid displays of wealth and to be gracious towards servants and social inferiors.

Certain professions were considered "respectable" regardless of the level of compensation: teacher, lawyer, doctor, clergyman, military officer, engineer, accountant. The occupants of these professions by and large strove to be gentlemanlike in their dealings with others. Others were not despicable, but they conferred no special status: salesman, merchant, factory owner. The occupants of these positions varied considerably in their degree of graciousness or douchebaggery.

My grandfathers were both what might be called "yeoman farmers" and entirely respectable because of their integrity and conduct, but my parents descended into the working class with the passing of farming as a viable way to make a living. They were by no means despicable on account of this but were required to demonstrate worthiness of respect on an individual basis. I strove to become "respectable", but I failed to recognize that the whole status scheme that I was working in was archaic and did not much apply outside the confines of backwaters like my hometown. Here I am, a lawyer and a former military officer, yet no more entitled to respect on either account than any other schmendrick.

I don't much care any more about "respectability". I quit that game. Perhaps I lost it and am just facing reality. I don't use titles and prefer for people to call me by my first name. I am not offended by familiarity in address by my supposed social inferiors. I don't reckon that there is such a thing. We're all the same in the eyes of God. I aim to show the same degree of courtesy to a waiter or a porter as I would to the Pope, and I find it amusing when folks insist on titles and honorifics in address. I cringe when people are disrespectful to servants and others whom they deem beneath them, and I regard this as a sign that the disrespectful individual is not particularly respectable. I look back in shame at the times that I was a first class douche in my dealings with service workers.

Somewhere in the Bible there is a line about one of the worst things that you can see being a slave who has become a king.