The Stormville Goat Thief

Remember how I bragged about how my neighbors minded their own business? It turns out that some of them are a meddlesome lot after all. Someone, I know not whom except that they live on my road, has stolen the postman’s goats. They did this, not because they wanted goats and saw larceny as their best means of realizing their goal, but because they felt that the postman was an unfit goat owner. Now the goats are rumored to be in a veritable goat Eden while the postman is worried sick about his missing pets.

In my view, the goats seemed well fed and friendly, an indicator that they had not been abused, in the postman’s charge. They had the run of some 120 acres and seemed happy enough. Sometimes, they got in the road, but everybody knows to look out for them. But some busybody decided that the postman did not provide adequate shelter. Evidently, the goat thief feels that the shed provided for the goats is too drafty or some such thing.

I plan to let it be known through the postman’s aunt that the goats have been stolen but are safe. Perhaps the postman will report the theft, and they will be recovered. The thief should have the decency at least to give the postman the cash value of the goats, but then again, we are talking about a thief.