Happy Valentine's Day

I have never liked Valentine’s Day. It has always seemed so contrived. Back in primary school, I was chastised by the teacher because I addressed all the Valentine cards for my classmates to “Occupant” and placed them in their Valentine box. After all, I thought, everybody was getting one. I was not partial to anyone in the class, and I did not wish to exclude anyone, but I didn’t think there was any point in pretending that I had put a lot of thought into the ritual. In the same class and on the same day, I got in trouble over the handmade card we were assigned to create. I thought that it would make an interesting statement if I used an anatomically correct heart, but my teacher felt that this was offensive and made me destroy my handiwork and put out a more conformist card. That experience merely reinforced my dislike for the observance of Valentine’s Day.

I am grateful that Mrs Vache Folle does observe the day either and that I am forbidden to give her anything today. No candy, no flowers, no jewelry and definitely no Vermont Teddy Bear, on pain of death. What a woman!