Adopted by a Cat

Mrs Vache Folle has been talking about enticing one of the many stray cats in the neighborhood to hang around our house more in order to deter voles. A few days ago, as if on cue, a grey kitten emerged from the swamp behind the small shed and demanded to be fed. I named him Pogo because he comes from a swamp and because it seemed to suit him. Now I get an earful in the morning until I feed him, and I get told off every evening when I come home. "That plate's not going to fill itself, hairless ape!" is a close translation.

Mrs Vache Folle made him a little bed in the shed and left the door ajar. I don't know if he uses it or not. I had one of those weird alcohol mixed with Xanax dreams last night where it got to be 173 degrees below zero outside, and I was worried about the cat. I actually had a digital thermometer that registered minus 173 degrees. I hope it was Farenheit because I can't do the conversion to Celsius. Anyway, Mrs Vache Folle told me to stay inside because I would die if I went outside and that the cat would be fine in the shed, that it was only cold outside and not inside structures. I could wait until morning when the temperature rose.

I interpret this dream as concern about what will happen if Pogo is still around come wintertime. Can Felix domesticus survive a winter in the Hudson Valley with just an unheated shed for shelter? Should I make a cat door into the cellar where the furnace gives off considerable heat? Or will varmints use it to invade the cellar? I am reluctant to bring the cat inside for several reasons: (a) it's a cat; (b) Jesse the Carpathian has been known to eat a cat or four in his day; (c) Jasper the Salopian has not been cat tested; and (d) I really don't want a box of shit in my house. The cat is wanted on the exterior on varmint patrol. The cellar is teeming with varmints, so that might be a good solution. Pogo can have the cellar and the whole outdoors beyond the fence, and the dogs can have the indoors and the fenced in area.

I suppose the next step is to catch Pogo and take him to the vet for shots and what not. I'm pretty sure vets also do cats, right? If he doesn't run off in a huff after the trauma and indignity, then he should make a fine addition to the homestead.