Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Improving Family Traditions

Kirsten has a timely post on improving family traditions http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=12074349&postID=113569060323416433 . One way, which is in line with my way of thinking, is to forget about birthdays. Yes, I was born on a date in history and have cheated death for yet another revolution of Terra around Sol since then, but I am also a year closer to the grave and no longer delight in the mounting number of years since my birth. I won’t remind you of your mortality and the approach of decrepitude with a card or call, if you will do the same for me.

I propose the following rule of thumb: as soon as you stop giving your age with fractions, then we should all stop acknowledging your birthday until you reach 100 years of age. That basically leaves birthday celebrations to children and the feeble-minded.

Here’s another proposed rule: if you are not my mother, step-mother, mother-in-law, or grandmother, do not expect me to send you a Mothers’ Day card or to call you on Mothers’ Day. Thanks for reproducing and all, but I have to draw the line somewhere.

Here’s another rule that we adopted this year for holiday calls. We have established a protocol whereby the older generation takes precedence over the younger, and siblings are ranked according to birth order. Accordingly, each person is expected to call his or her parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts, etc. Younger siblings are to call older siblings. This is not to say that these rules prevent calls but that nobody should expect a call as a matter of right outside of these rules.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I share your view of not wanting to be reminded of our mortality, and don't really care much about celebrating my own birthday, but I'd like to offer for your consideration my perspective on wishing happy birthdays to friends and family. I do it because it is a day of celebration for me; it's a convenient date for taking some extra effort to say, "I'm glad you're part of my life." I've even been known to send thank-you notes to the parents of very special people, to acknowledge their contributions to the making of a person I value.

However, if someone (such as yourself) is uncomfortable with such things, I'd do my best to honor that preference, even if it meant biting my tongue in two.