I'm a Nobody Compared to Dane Cook

In my most recent random observations post, I suggested, tongue in cheek, that it would have been better to lose Dennis Miller and Dane Cook and the entire bullpen of NRO writers than to lose George Carlin. A commenter disagreed strongly with the Dane Cook part but presumably agreed that the NRO writers and Dennis Miller are expendable. The commenter felt obliged to add that I am "a nobody" in contrast to Dane Cook. Anonymous has me there. I'm not as famous as Dane Cook, and I never will be unless I do something insanely homicidal. I embrace my nothingness, my insignificance, so I am not the least offended when people point out that I don't really amount to anything. My parents predicted that I would turn out to be a mediocrity at best, and I am still striving halfheartedly to achieve "okay". My teachers used to complain that I didn't live up to my potential, but that was a crock. I've never had any potential. This is as good as it gets. It apparently suits God's ineffable purpose for me to be a worthless slob.

Meanwhile, Dane Cook has at least brought happiness to Anonymous commenter, something I will never be able to do. Given his status as a star, I have to conclude that he has amused and entertained a goodly portion of some demographic of which I am clearly not a part. So, Dane Cook is a force for good, and I shouldn't bargain with hiss life to get George Carlin back. As if I could realy do that. If I could do that, a lot of dead people would be alive, and a lot of living douchebags would be dead instead. Plus people against whom I harbor personal grudges wouldn't fare too well. Crictical anonymous commenters might also be less alive as might tailgaters, people who talk on the cell phone while on the treadmill at the gym, and announcers on commercials who yell.