McMansions Suck

I missed the East Fishkill Republican Caucus last week because I was out of town. I know this because I got a letter from a would-be candidate for the board of supervisors. His pet peeve seems to be that water and sewer service have not been “standardized and regulated” and that, horror of horrors, some people have private contractors providing water and sewer service. This is a Republican, mind you.

He also has a scheme to limit further development by buying up empty land so nobody can put in more McMansions. The fact is that the McMansions aren’t selling like they used to, so development is liable to slow down in any event without the town’s robbing its subjects to buy land. Lots of McMansions are in foreclosure, so it makes little business sense to go ahead with any new subdivisions at this point. Of course, some development projects in the works will probably go ahead because of sunk costs. Mortgage rates are up, so buying power is down. One of my neighbors is taking a huge loss on his house that he bought mid-boom and has to sell during the bust.

That’s the way real estate goes: boom and bust. Some poor slobs always get into the boom too late and lose their shirts. They think the boom will go on forever or at least until they cash in. Here’s a handy rule of thumb: If I buy real estate, the boom is just about over.

What is the lure of the McMansion? They’re big is all. They’re right on top of each other, so there’s no privacy, and there are no mature trees. The commutes are long, and the mortgage payments are a big nut to cover. McMansions in East Fishkill run $750K to $1 mm or more. Taxes are high and getting higher all the time. Folks have little time to enjoy their monstrous houses, and they definitely don’t have much chance to get involved with the community. The houses want a lot of furniture and are expensive to heat and cool. The workmanship is often shoddy. It’s probably not worth it in the end to have the extra square footage. At least that’s how I look at it. Evidently, McMansion buyers think otherwise. They’re ruining the town. I bought an existing house and replaced a resident, so my impact on the town was neutral.

If there are lots of empty McMansions in the subdivisions due to foreclosures and slow sales, will the neighborhoods go to seed? Will tweakers squat in the vacant houses, or will renters move in? Eventually, the houses will be divided into apartments and the lawns paved over for parking. East Fishkill will become Yonkers, and residents will move to Vermont to get away from the blight and sprawl. They’ll commute via teleporter.