Friday, May 25, 2007

I Like Headgear Properly Worn

When I was a bairn, most men and women wore some kind of headgear whenever they were outside. The men would wear felt or straw hats, and the women would wear bonnets. It made sense, what with the sun’s beating down on your head.

I am still a hat person. I prefer the felt “Crusher” hat that you can stick in your pocket and have it pop back into shape when you put it back on. I was raised that it was rude to wear a hat indoors, so I usually doff my hat or cap when I go inside. I never put a hat on a bed because that’s bad luck. I know in my head that it’s a stupid superstition, but I can’t bring myself to defy the curse.

I also favor baseball style caps, especially when I’m gardening. I am not a retard, so I wear my caps with the brim forward as God intended them to be worn. I also make sure that the brim has a little curve in it and does not make a straight line like a brand new cap. The straight brim and wearing the cap with the brim askew make cap wearers appear feebleminded. The backwards baseball cap look is acceptable if you are trying to keep the sun off your neck or if you are wearing a mask. Otherwise, it’s retarded.

In Bellingham, I found a Chinese People’s Army cap in a vintage clothing store, and I would wear that when I played baseball in the local amateur league. It was green with a plastic red star in front and a small brim. I still have that cap, but I don’t have occasion to wear it much.
I usually get my working baseball caps for free. I have bought a couple of official caps. I have a Mariners cap that Mrs Vache Folle shrunk by washing it. I have a Braves cap that I don’t wear lest Mrs VF decide to destroy it as well. I have a cap from Jamaica that Mrs VF bought to get rid of our last Jamaican currency before we left Montego Bay. And there’s the Chinese cap. Otherwise, the rest were free.
I have a luxurious head of beautiful hair, so I don't wear hats or caps to hide anything. I've been told that wearing hats will make you bald, but so far that hasn't happened to me in nearly half a century.

No comments: