Taking Offense for Fun and Profit

I never found Don Imus entertaining. On the contrary, I find him annoying. It was mean spirited and stupid to disparage the Rutgers women’s basketball players the way he did. I don’t think he should be executed, though, or even imprisoned. I don’t have an opinion on whether he should be fired from his radio gig. I wouldn’t go on his show if invited (and why would I be, what with being a nonentity and all) because he’s liable to make me look like an ass just like everybody else who appears on his show.

I don’t really miss being able to insult black people as freely as I once could back in the day. I don’t recall doing it all that much anyway except for enjoying the occasional racially themed joke. It is a social fact that white people are forbidden to disparage black people in certain ways, and it is necessary to keep this in mind when speaking in public. This is a lot easier the less racist you are. Is it fair? Fair has nothing to do with it. That’s just the way it is. We still have most of the privileges that go with being white, so the loss of the ability to drop N-bombs whenever we feel like it is not such a big deal really.

One thing I think is unfair is that “rednecks” and “crackers” come under disparagement all the time, and there are no consequences to this. Sure, we’re white and all, but we’re not the white people in charge. Our backpack of white privilege isn’t as fully loaded as your elite white folks’ designer backpacks with matching water bottle and bandana. What we need are some self appointed leaders to raise hell whenever anyone defames us, a redneck Al Sharpton if you will.

How about we form a Celtic-American (that’s what we call ourselves now in homage to our Scots-Irish forebears) Anti-defamation League that takes offense for all of us whenever anyone slips up. The best part would be that we could start taking offense at language that nobody would anticipate might be offensive. How dare you use the word “feud”. Let’s make people start using euphemisms such as “people of altitude” instead of hillbilly. We would get the show “Cops” off the air because it is offensive to us of the sun touched nape. You won’t be allowed to tell redneck jokes or use the word redneck unless you are one.

How do you get a gig as a professional offense taker? How did that Catholic League loon become the spokesman for Catholics and get invited on TV all the time?