Senators Get Horny, Too

I confess that I enjoy it when self-righteous douchebags get caught in sex scandals. The Senator who patronized the DC Madame’s workers and more sex workers in New Orleans is a source of considerable entertainment. I would have a lot more respect for the guy if he would acknowledge that he engaged the services of sex workers, that he was satisfied with those services, and that everyone should mind his own business.

I don’t reckon the man did anything wrong. Engaging the services of a sex worker is a perfectly legitimate transaction in my view. I don’t even reckon it counts as adultery since there is generally no threat to the emotional attachment to the spouse. The guy spent weeks in DC away from his wife, and he was horny for crying out loud. It is very different from keeping a mistress, which is a betrayal of the spouse that calls every aspect of the betrayer’s character into question. If you’d betray your spouse emotionally, the closest person to you in the world to whom you made sacred vows, you’d probably rip me off and lie to me at the drop of a hat. That’s one of the reasons Newt Gingrich and Rudy Giuliani are so untrustworthy in my book.

I haven’t discussed this with Mrs Vache Folle, but I am pretty sure that she would not care if I enjoyed a lap dance or otherwise patronized sex workers unless I overpaid. And since there are services that wives generally decline to perform immediately upon marriage, most wives shouldn’t object to their husbands’ getting those services performed for a fee by a stranger. I would venture to say that many wives would reckon that they had been relieved of a burdensome chore and would count themselves lucky.

I would extend my permissive attitude about engaging sex workers to cover occasional opportunistic sex acts with amateurs as long as it does not develop into an emotional relationship in competition with the marriage. Clinton’s fooling around would be okay by me, especially since he didn’t even have sexual relations. He got his knob polished, that’s all. Any time a man can get his knob polished, he has to seize the opportunity. It’s not going to polish itself, and the wife doesn’t do knobs.