I Should Be Home Sick

I am in the middle of a severe bout of asthmatic bronchitis triggered by an allergy attack early in the week. Yesterday, I stayed home and went to my doctor who gave me a shot of cortisone and a prescription for antibiotics and codeine. I spent the day in a codeine induced stupor and rested. I used to get bronchitis 4-6 times a year, but under my current doctor's care, I get it twice a year at most during the worst allergy seasons. Right now, it seems to be ragweed or goldenrod that is bothering me so much.

I planned on staying home today, but Jesse Lou Baggett, the Ruthenian Shepherd, got skunked in the wee hours of the morning. I smelled skunk and went out to retrieve Jesse. I nearly tripped over the skunk who was right outside on the deck and who looked as if he was trying to come in the house. Jesse had already gotten a dose and was about ten yards away. He seems to have learned that he ought to avoid the stinky varmint because he did not, as I feared, continue his assault on the skunk while he was so close to me. In any event, the varmint sprayed his whole package of skunky squeezin's around the deck and right by the door. Jesse didn't get too much of it directly, but the noisome odor wafted into the house. There was no way I could stay home and endure the skunk smell all day, so off to work I went.

Fool that I am, I must have pet Jesse on my way out, so my right hand smells of skunk. Washing hasn't done much good. I might as well have stayed home.