Should I Run for President?

JL Wilson http://independentcountry.blogspot.com/2006/01/good-president-and-almighty-dollar.html posts on what a good president would be like. He lists a few characteristics of a good administration:

“1. Peace: America avoids military conflicts.2. Deep cuts in American troop presence throughout the world, and the military budget substantially reduced.3. Overall federal spending substantially lower than population growth and inflation would project, with the ax falling hardest on corporate welfare. 4. The burdens of regulation on business, of mandates on states, and of laws on individuals substantially reduced by executive orders mandating that officers in the executive branch enforce laws only in ways consistent with the Constitution and its Bill of Rights. 5. A significantly reduced federal prison population, through pardons of nonviolent "criminals" who were convicted of unconstitutional laws.”

I am thinking of throwing my hat in the ring. I have all the qualifications, having been born more than 35 years ago in one of the 50 states and having been a resident of the US almost all my life. I would be willing to fulfill JL Wilson’s agenda in spades. (I might go even further and be the Gorbachev of the US and oversee the peaceful breakup of the union.) I pledge to veto just about everything that comes out of Congress. As Commander-in-Chief, it will be my policy to defend the US in the least violent and least costly way possible consistent with legitimate national security considerations. I will fight for budget and tax cuts, starting with an end to corporate welfare and ending taxes on wages. I will respect the prerogatives of the several states.

In addition, I will do the American people a huge favor and submit my State of the Union report in writing instead of speechifying. I won’t hold any press conferences, but I will answer as many e-mails as I can. I will continue to blog to keep the people informed, but there won’t be any weekly radio address.

I pledge not to campaign for re-election. If I am doing a good job, you will re-elect me.

I will do everything in my power to diminish the significance of the office that I hold.

In exchange for this commitment to run and serve, I ask only a few things:

1. Don’t delve too much into issues about my character and past history. In fact, let’s say that anything that happened before next Monday doesn’t count and is off limits. I am not the same person as I was then, as almost every molecule in my body has been replaced several times over, so it would not be fair to hold me to account for any youthful indiscretions that may have occurred in the past or which may occur between now and next Monday.
2. I wish to keep my actual identity a secret and to run and serve as Vache Folle.
3. I want to be allowed at least as many vacation days as GW Bush has taken.
4. I would like to have the summer White House in Tuscany instead of Camp David.
5. I would like to be referred to as “Your Adequacy” or “Your Sufficiency” rather than as “Mr President”.
6. I want the White House to be casual. No ties. I might not even change out of my pajamas on some days.
7. I do not jog or play golf. You can’t make me.

Once I get a commitment to these requirements from enough folks, I will announce my candidacy.

One good thing about GW Bush is that he has really lowered the bar so that someone with my questionable abilities and dubious character can grow up to be President.