Greatest Baseball Play Ever

When I lived in Bellingham, I played baseball in the Borderline League, so called because it included teams in both British Columbia and Washington, not because we were borderline anything. Most of the teams were in Vancouver and its suburbs, and they had fabulous baseball facilities. The Washington teams played in pastures. The setting was idyllic, but there were quite a few in the park home runs what with the mile long outfields and marmot holes. In fact, returning from BC was like going to the third world.

I was in my late 30s (it was an over 35 league) and was one of the youngest players on the team. As one of the "kids" and one of the players who did not need a walker to get around, I was put in the outfield, a position I am completely unqualified to play. I have no arm and little experience in the outfield. Also, the slow old men in the infield let a lot of balls through that would not normally make it out of the infield, so I was run ragged. Moreover, pitching was not what it could be, so there was more offense than would expect in a baseball game. The wear and tear led to a torn rotator cuff and other injuries, but I had a lot of fun playing.

I was not much of a hitter, but I could lay down a dribbler and beat it out to first before the geriatric catchers or pitchers could field the ball. I had a good many infield hits, and I specialized in singles the other way into right field on balls outside. In one game, I reached on a bunt down the third base line. The next guy up drew a walk. The next guy hit a sharp grounder right to third base, a tailor made double play ball, and I took off on contact. Not thinking too clearly, instead of sliding into the third baseman, I ran back toward second like an idiot. Evidently, this confused the third baseman who, instead of stepping on the bag and throwing to second or first, tried to get me in a run down. He followed me part way back to first and tossed the ball to the second baseman. By this time the runner on first had advanced safely and was standing on the bag. The second baseman hurriedly threw the ball back toward third, but the third baseman was out of position, and nobody had thought to back up third given the nature of how the play ought to have gone. The throw slid off the end of the third baseman's glove and went toward the dugout. I rounded third and headed home where I was thrown out at the plate. Meanwhile, the other base runners had moved up into scoring position.

My teammates in the dugout were laughing so hard I thought they would wet themselves.