Figures of Speech

Mrs Vache Folle and I collect and enjoy instances in which our conspecifics screw up figures of speech or sayings. This started with her own use of the phrase "made out like a banshee" when she got lots of presents one Christmas. It sounded almost right but wasn't. The images of a banshee and a bandit are quite different. Some of the our favorite examples of fractured figures of speech/sayings we have overheard are as follows:

• It spread like wildflowers.
• My husband wears the shoes in our family.
• The worm is on the other foot.
• It's 6 1/2 of one and a dozen of the other.
• He painted himself into a corner and threw away the key.
• Absence makes the heart go farther.

When I was staying in Barbados, I enjoyed the colorful sayings that the people used. Some of my favorites (I hope I am not fracturing them) were:

• The watchman is as good as the thief.
• If s***t had wings, dog would buy a gun.
• Monkey don't know how big he ass is til he swallow a plum seed.
• Crow fly high, but when he die, ant eat he eye.

I am fascinated by these kinds of sayings. They don't always make sense and can sometimes be countered with an opposite idea. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", but "out of sight is out of mind". Moreover, if "God is love" and "love is blind", is God blind? If "time is money" and "money is power" and "power corrupts", does time corrupt?