I sometimes hear people lament that men are becoming "feminized". Would that it were so. The process of feminization is the process of civilization. As the sensibilities of the elite classes, who are in a sense more feminine "gentle" folk less prone to direct personal violence, become adopted by the lower orders, civilization progresses. It's a good thing in my book for men to be more pacific in outlook and temperament and less likely to resolve issues by fighting.
Then again, my attitude toward the feminine is informed by my experience of the women in my family. They were farmers who could plow behind a mule with the best to them and who endured adversity with courage and determination. They were working women who embodied the best of womanhood. They weren't dainty,mind you, but they were ladies. They were caregivers and peacemakers and churchgoers who kept their families civilized. Those unfortunate families who lacked a woman's touch tended to wildness and disorder. The men just didn't have that civilizing something that women provided.
Nowadays, I find more and more men who have learned to be caregivers to their children and their communities, who have learned to manage conflict peacably, who have learned to love their neighbors. They've been feminized, and it looks good on them.
I reckon the whole course of cultural evolution could be characterized as the efforts of women to domesticate men.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
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