How to Get a Job as a WSJ Editorial Writer

Chris Kelly at Huffington Post has hit on the formula for the perfect conservative pundit:

“That's how you get a job as a conservative pundit. Figure out what makes you different from a white, male, protestant businessman, and hate your own guts for it.

If you're black, hate civil rights. If you're a woman, hate feminism. If you grew up poor, despise the poor. If you're a visible minority, demand more profiling. If you're gay, say you're cured. If you're Jewish, praise anti-Semites, if you're Christian, praise war. If you're Michelle Malkin... I don't know where you start with your problems if you're Michelle Malkin.

Just take a good, long look in the mirror, and ask yourself: Who am I? And how am I failing to be Neil Bush?”

I also like his take on the weird juxtaposition bewteen quality reporting in the WSJ and its batshit crazy editorial page:

“It's a little like buying Playboy for the articles, but instead of also getting pictures of naked girls, some trust fund scumbag lectures you about meritocracy.

It's like Cracker Jack, only instead of a prize with your popcorn, you get a human thumb.

I accept that. The way, in The History Boys, the students don't mind that their favorite teacher also molests them.”