I Identify Four Douches

I watched Bill Maher’s most recent show last night (HBO on Demand is great) and learned that, as I had always suspected but hadn’t observed enough to decide, Tucker Carlson is a douche. He is the archetypal idiot brother-in-law who thinks he is smarter than he really is. He should go back to the bow tie and maybe wear glasses to make himself look intelligent, because he sure as hell doesn’t sound intelligent.

The morning radio show I listen to played a clip of Al Sharpton talking about how Imus’s new employers must meet with the black journalists’ association and get their approval of his contract. It’s official. Sharpton is also a douche. I never paid him enough heed before to make a determination, but he sure sounded like a first class douche on the radio.

Another douche, Mickey Kaus, is rumored in the progressive blogosphere to fellate goats, but this has nothing to do with his designation. If they are his own goats or if the owner of the goats has given permission, then I don’t have anything to complain about on that basis. He’s still a douche, though.

Donald Rumsfeld was independently wealthy before he became Minister of War. He didn’t need the job. That means he did it just to be a douche. He had always wanted to screw up the military, and this was his last chance.