Thursday, December 14, 2006

Ten Unjokes

Unjoke Number One:

Joke teller: How many Romanian janitors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Victim: I don’t know. How many?

Joke teller: While Romanian janitors are usually competent to change light bulbs without assistance, we must keep in mind that the act of changing the bulb is but one of many activities involving a multitude of people to produce the light bulb and deliver it to the end user. The suppliers of raw materials, the fabricators, and the third party logistics providers all along the line were indispensable in getting that light bulb in the hands of that Romanian janitor.

Unjoke Number Two:

Joke teller: Knock, Knock.

Victim: Who’s there?

Joke teller: Orange.

Victim: Orange who.

Joke teller: Orange you glad I didn’t say banana?

Unjoke Number Three:

Joke teller: I met a man the other day who said he hadn’t had a bite in weeks.

Victim: What did you do?

Joke teller: I gave him some money for food.

Unjoke Number Four:

A traveling salesman’s car broke down in a rural area, and he asked a farmer if he could spend the night. The farmer said that it would be okay for him to spend the night but that he did not have a daughter.

Unjoke Number Five:

Joke teller: What do you call a hundred female physical anthropologists at the bottom of a river?

Victim: I don’t know.

Joke teller: A mystery and a tragedy and probable foul play.

Unjoke Number Six:

Joke teller: What’s the difference between a gynecologist and a plumber?

Victim: Beat’s me.

Joke teller: A gynecologist is a physician specializing in the treatment of women, whereas a plumber is a skilled tradesman who specializing in pipes and drains and such.

Unjoke Number Seven:

Joke teller: I have a new knock, knock joke. You start it.

Victim: Knock, Knock.

Joke teller: Who’s there?

Unjoke Number Eight:

Joke teller: What did Buddha say to the hot dog vendor?

Vendor: I don’t know. What?

Joke teller: There were no hot dog vendors in India when Buddha lived, so he wouldn’t have said anything.

Unjoke Number Nine:

Joke teller: What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?

Victim: I don’t know. What?

Joke teller: Nothing. Those two species are so genetically dissimilar that it is not possible to breed a hybrid.

Unjoke Number Ten:

A man has been waiting anxiously while his wife was undergoing complicated surgery. The surgeon comes into the waiting room and announces that he has good news and bad news. The bad news is that a second tumor was found during the operation. “What’s the good news?” asked the husband. The surgeon replied, “We were able to remove the second tumor completely and believe that your wife will have a full recovery.”


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Anonymous said...

shut up, all of you.

Amelia said...

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The holocaust.