On Keeping Slaves Alive Past Their Prime

In the hope of becoming a house slave, I am thinking of embracing my servitude and helping my masters manage their servants more efficiently.

I can understand how the master might want to keep his slaves from eating tansfats and dying during their productive years, but it is harder to see why the master would want to extend the lives of his slaves once they have stopped being productive. Retired slaves are costly. They eat up a lot of social security and Medicare dollars while contributing little to the treasury.

It seems to me that the state ought to encourage smoking and alcohol consumption and all manner of unhealthy practices in order to shorten the life expectancy of the slaves. That way, unproductive retired slaves would require fewer resources.

On the other hand, younger slaves are more docile if they believe that their elders will be cared for and that they themselves will be cared for when they cease to be productive. This has a significant value. Moreover, the very idea that the state is the source of security in old age has the effect of weakening the competing institutions of the family and the church. What a brilliant scheme it is to make opposition to the state tantamount to opposition to the welfare of our grandparents!

Yet, it seems that our masters have failed to account for the fact that the slaves are not replacing themselves, except through immigration. I reckon some of the resources devoted to old folks could be diverted fruitfully to pro-natal policies to encourage the creation of more slaves through reproduction. Let us provide free pre-natal medical care to all pregnant slaves and medical care for all infants through the age of six. This will lead to the birth and survival of more and better slaves.