Wednesday, March 15, 2006

I'm Not as Evil as I Used to Be

JL Wilson links to a test of how evil you are: http://independentcountry.blogspot.com/2006/03/evil-quiz.html

I scored 38% evil, more than I expected, so I went back and retook the test and qualified my answers as relating to "the last 10 years". I was considerably less evil, having in the last few years repented of many of my more problematic activities. What a relief.

I have been paying the wages of sin the last couple of days. I smoked like a fiend for over 20 years until September 1999 when I quit for the last time. In 2000, I was diagnosed with chronic obstructive pulmonary disorder, a malady I have been fighting ever since. Among other things, it gives me repeated bouts of bronchitis with which I am laid up these past two days. Although I like to relate my COPD to exposure to the tons of mosquito poison dropped from helicopters in Westechester County in summer of 2000, my smoking did not help the matter. Also, recently (within the last 2 weeks) partaking of a certain product of Jamaica through inhalation probably contributed to my current troubles.

Most of my sins today are sins against myself. I genuinely do not wish harm to others, and I am a far more charitable and forgiving person than I used to be. Chalking up a few spectacular failures along the way has a way of humbling one. Unfortunately, I am more in the mode of not doing others harm than in the mode of doing anyone any positive good, but I am working on this. Some of this has to do with my energy level, and I hope that recent changes in lifestyle and diet will help me manage COPD, depression, anxiety and social phobias better so that I can be a more active member of my community.

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