Friday, May 27, 2005

Guardians for Blastocysts

If a blastocyst or frozen embryo is a person and exists outside of a womb for 18 years, it should be treated like an adult. In a sense, the blastocyst would be analogous to an extremely disabled person, and he/she/it would be entitled to be accommodated like any other handicapable American. Every one of them could well be entitled to SSI or some kind of welfare for disabled people. They would also be obligated to serve on juries and to register with selective service. They should be permitted to marry and to transact business like anyone else.

During its first 18 years, the egg donor and the provider of the nucleic genetic material would be obliged to support the blastocyst and would be subject to prosecution for abuse, abandonment or neglect. They would be entitled to tax exemptions and child care credits and to any benefits that accrue to parents. Each blastocyst would be assigned a Social Security number from the moment it came into being. Moreover, the blastocyst should be allowed to attend schools and to be mainstreamed like other special needs children. Every classroom would have to be equipped with life support for blastocysts.

Since blastocyst American adults are so disabled, it would be a good idea to appoint guardians for each of them with the power to make decisions for them in their best interests and even to cast ballots for them. The natural choice would be a "parent" or other relative or a spouse, but any circumspect individual willing to serve might be appointed.

Someday, we may even see a blastocyst American serving as President of the United States.

UPDATE: Dagwood, in the comments, points out that some disabled people in MA require the services of up to 20 people. Think of the job creation that recognition of the rights of the blastocysts would entail!

1 comment:

Vache Folle said...

Brilliant, Dagwood! This would also jump start the economy as we would be creating billions of jobs in the blastocyst-care industry.

The blastocysts are definitely retarded, having on average an IQ in the range of 0-.000000000000000001. Of course, including them in the IQ stats for the overall population will mean that the average IQ will be close to 2, so the retarded population that we now have will be transformed into geniuses.