Despite promises to go to counseling and to work things out, Mrs Vache Folle left me this morning. She thought I would be gone, but my carpool companion was late. It was as if her feelings for me had totally switched off between breakfast and 9:00 am. Seriously, I am lower than whale shit as far as she is concerned, utterly undeserving of any consideration. Needless to say, it was a kick in the balls, and I have been on several crying jags since this morning. This is the first time I have felt seriously suicidal in my life. If I didn't think Mrs Vache Folle would gleefully cash the insurance check and spend it on her lover, I would have eaten a shotgun by now.
I feel as if I never knew the woman. She was always so decent.
I just want to disappear.
3 comments:
I'm very sorry to hear this. Please don't eat your shotgun ... instead, be patient and kind with yourself.
What Sunni said. Hang in there, however you can.
BTW, be really careful twiddling your sertraline dosage, being on it as long as you have, and especially right now in the midst of a crisis. Contact me privately if you want my own (recent) experience.
Please stick around. Suicide is the one way to guarantee things *can't* get better.
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