It's hard to believe that this is post number 2,000 on this blog.
The next 2,000 posts will find me in changed circumstances now that I'm single again and now that I am embarking on a whole new phase of my life. I am excited and optmistic about being a happier, more loving person now that my zombie marriage has been put down.
One thing I'm finding out about myself is that it can get pretty lonely. Don't get me wrong. I'm not the kind of person who has to be with other people all the time, but I do miss having someone to cook for and watch movies with.
I want to start dating again and take a chance on finding a friend and lover to share my life with. This time I aim to do it right and to be more demonstrative about my feelings and more sexually engaged. I'm still getting my sexual equipment repaired even though I have no immediate prospects of putting it to use.
I'm hoping friends will try to set me up and that I will meet women as I get out in the community more. I'm thinking of joining community theatre, taking yoga classes, dance lessons, getting a life.
I've also signed up for Match.com and Chemistry.com, the online dating services. So far I'm a real hit with Nigerian scam artists and women who look like they could be my mother. The scammers contact me and claim to like my profile and set up on line chats in which they are way too friendly and in which they reveal that they are currently in Nigeria/Ghana/Malaysia to buy stuff for their businesses. Of course, they are entrepreneurs. Their poor command of English and evasiveness give them away, and I have not been scammed out of any money. I did some research on line and discovered that the next step is to get your pathetic lonely ass hooked and then ask for you to deposit a money order for them and send them the cash. Fortunately for me, I am not that pathetic and desperate, and I'm not stupid, either.
I have exchanged some e-mails with some actual nice ladies who really exist and are looking for guys like me, and I have spoken on the phone to a couple of them. I have a "date" to call a woman on Monday. I've gotten some polite rejections based on geographical distance and my legal status (separated, not divorced). Mostly, my "winks" and e-mails just get ignored. It's been just a few days, so I'm still hopeful.
I think I'm a pretty good prospect. I'm smart, a professional, not bad looking (if you discount the belly fat I'm working on losing), and funny. I'm not especially nutty. I'm not controlling. I'm not even that picky. I'll date women with children, women my age, women who are not beauty queens, women who are flawed.
Maybe this will be fun. If it isn't, I'll just have to go the mail order bride route ;).
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If you want to be befriended by lots of smoking hot 20-something Latina babes who are really dork computer hacker dudes looking for personal info to help them in identity theft, then join Facebook. Other than that, maybe you're on the right track.
I truly hope things work out for you. I had a similar situation almost 20 years ago, and it was a real shocker. I didn't yet have church, but balancing the what-I-used-to-have with the excitement of moving forward was a daily tension that was hard to reconcile. Like Kevin said, living one day at a time is cliche, but I've found that once I gained a new life and moved forward just a few years, things became not merely tolerable, but really worked out.
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