Monday, November 09, 2009

Aspects of Popular Culture That I Just Don't Get

Vampires. Kids want to be vampires or date vampires. Vampirism seems like it would be a huge disability what with not being able to eat anything but blood or to come out in the daylight. Believe me kids, you'll know enough toxic psychic vampires in your life without wishing to meet some mythical ones.

Flavored martinis (except as starter drinks for junior high schoolers). These are nothing like actual martinis and are far removed from the martini experience. After age 25, these should not be permitted. Men of any age should never order these. These are girlie drinks.

Kardashians. Why do I have to know who these people are?

Shredded jeans. In my day, shredded jeans meant you were trash. Decent folks would patch the holes in their jeans.

Facebook. I spend enough time in front of a computer without corresponding with my long lost grammar school classmates.

2012. What makes anyone think the Mayans knew peedoodlysquat about anything? I don't think they even predicted the precipitous fall of their own civilization, so I don't put much store in their prognosticating abilities. Show me some shit they got right, and I might take them seriously.

1 comment:

b-psycho said...

re: 2012: At times I think about how clever it'd be if the reason the Mayan calendar stops there was just to mess with future civilizations.