Wednesday, December 02, 2009

I'm Tiger Woods!

I have never had sex with Tiger Woods. Folks should just quit speculating about this and move on. Even if I did have sex with Tiger Woods, it wouldn't be anybody's business but mine and Tiger's and Tiger's old lady and my old lady (neither of whom were present when Tiger and I were not having sex). I'm not promising that I'd never, under any circumstances, have sex with Tiger Woods; I'm just saying that it hasn't happened...yet.

Do I think worse of Tiger for getting lots of tail on top of being young, attractive (I'm told), married to a Swedish bikini model and rich as Croesus? No, my envy level topped out years ago.

Does Tiger Woods' philandering make him less valuable as a role model? Certainly not, unless you want your kids growing up thinking it's a good idea to pass on sex with hot women who throw themselves at you even when you have a hot Swedish bikini model at home.

Will I buy less Nike crap because of Tiger's scandal? I could not buy less Nike stuff unless I stole Nike products and sold them back to the store.

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