Saxons, Vikings and Celts

I recently finished Saxons, Vikings, and Celts: the Genetic Roots of Britain and Ireland by Bryan Sykes. It would have been a lot more interesting (and it was pretty interesting, mind you) if Sykes had devoted more pages to interpretation and implications than to the quest for DNA samples and thumbnail histories of the Isles. (BLOGGER ETHICS NOTE: I had to buy the book with my own money and did not get a damned thing for reviewing it. Nobody asked me to review it, and it is unlikely that anyone will be inspired by this review either to acquire the book or to eschew it.)

Anyway, the analysis shows that the long postulated Celtic invasion from Central Europe does not show up in the genes of the Islanders. On the matrilineal side, the Islanders are mainly descended from the mesolithic foragers who first resettled the Isles following the last glacial retreat up to 10,000 years ago. There appears to have some movement along the Atlantic coast from Iberia in the early Neolithic. In Orkney and Shetland, it appears that the Vikings brought their women with them when they settled the area (about a third of the folks carry Viking mDNA). In the old Danelaw, there is evidence that women came with the Danes or the Saxons (5-10% have Viking, Dane, Saxon or Norman mDNA). There is almost no sign of Roman genetic influence in mDNA.

On the patrilineal side, the vast majority of male Islanders carry a Celtiberian Y chromosome. There also seems to be a substantial minority who carry the Y of the mesolithic aborigines, and there is an overlay in the East of Saxons, Danes, or Vikings (in East Anglia as much as 20%).

All in all, the Islanders are Celts (their ancestors antedated the Romans and spoke Celtic languages). Englishmen, Irishmen, Scotsmen, and Welshmen are all brothers. Suck on that, WASPs!

Ardi is not the Boss of Me

Via Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/frans-de-waal/was-ardi-perhaps-liberal_b_325201.html comes an article speculating whether Ardipithecus was a "liberal". The author, Frans de Waal, after going through the history of interpretations of human nature by analogy with various extant non-human primates, wonders:

"What if we descend not from a blustering chimp-like ancestor but from a gentle, empathic bonobo-like ape? Or what if we share characteristics with both of these close relatives instead of just the one favored by our personal political ideology? Ardi is telling us something, and there may be little agreement about what she is saying, but I hear a refreshing halt to the drums of war that have accompanied all previous theories."

The discovery of the postcranial remains of Ardipithecus has been one of the most exciting events in paleoanthropology in years. Ardi stood erect, and she had a prehensile great toe. She lived in the forest, not on the savannah. The implications of the discovery for human evolution have been described by Owen Lovejoy and others in a special issue of Science http://www.sciencemag.org/cgi/content/full/326/5949/74 (registration required).

What I find most interesting about the discovery are the plausible explanation for the development of bipedalism offered by the data and the long overdue recognition that extant great apes have been evolving all this time from our common ancestor as well. Our ancestor probably wasn't like any of the living species of hominoids. Several features of Ardipithecus are consistent with the notion that bipedalism developed as part of a strategy of male provisioning of mates and offspring which required carrying provisions over relatively long distances.

But as exciting as all this may be, I can't wrap my brain around the idea that the way that Ardi lived has much to do with how we should live now. Righties (other than Creationist religious righties, that is) sometimes point to evolutionary psychology (they prefer the term sociobiology for some reason) to support the status quo, and they tend in my experience to favor the "Killer Ape" model, so I reckon fossil evidence that counters such fatuous arguments with equally fatuous counterarguments are useful to a degree. I'd prefer, however, to attack the underlying premise that human evolution has left us with a set of "natural" tendencies that it would be wrong in many cases to resist and in all cases to problematize.

I am speculating here a bit, but I would bet that Ardi shit in the woods. Does that mean that we ought to shit in the woods, that it is foolish to develop plumbing and alternative shit disposal systems that run counter to our nature as sylvan defecators? Should I tolerate it if strangers come and shit in my woods?

Ardi ate all her food raw. Does that mean cooking is unnatural and wrong?

Ardi didn't wear any clothes. Clothing is unnatural and wrong?

What if Ardi were promiscuous? Would that mean that promiscuity should be the norm for us now?

Ardi lived by the chase and forage. Is it, therefore, wrong to farm or work at a trade?

Ardipithecine females may have stayed close to the nest with their young while males went off in search of provisions. Does that mean that it is wrong for our women to leave the house and work?

Ardi did what Ardi had to do to get by when and where she lived. Lucky for us, her descendants were flexible enough to adapt when times changed. We're still adapting. If we're not, we're doomed.

Bill Donohue Embarasses Catholics Yet Agaain

Bill Donohue, whacky Catholic apologist, reckons that troglodytes are outbreeding folks with more progressive outlooks: http://wonkette.com/411702/bill-donohues-washington-post-opinion-column-is-even-greater-than-casually-aborting-your-kids#more-411702

Wonkette quotes the following:

"The culture war is up for grabs. The good news is that religious conservatives continue to breed like rabbits, while secular saboteurs have shut down: they’re too busy walking their dogs, going to bathhouses and aborting their kids. Time, it seems, is on the side of the angels."

Crazy Bill Donohue, don't you know that religious conservatism is not hereditary? Hell, everyone's ancestors at some point were religious conservatives, but a lot of us have thrown off the yoke of superstition and authoritarianism despite this. No matter how many babies your religious conservatives pump out, there's no guarantee that they will also be religious conservatives.

Look at the Anabaptists. Their belief system is held by a small minority of the world's population even though they have been "breeding like rabbits" for almost five hundred years. If Anabaptist beliefs were hereditable, they would have overrun the world by now. Look at Catholics. No matter how many little Catholics you make, you can't depend on their not blowing off their religion when something more attractive comes along. You still have to sell Catholicism, and that's one hard sell now that Donohue and his ilk aren't allowed to host autos da fe any longer.

Time is on the side of the angels, Bill Donohue, but you'd be surprised at who the angels really are.

Escapee

Jasper escaped last night and was missing for an hour and a half. I was just finishing up listing him on findtoto.com when he found his way home. I don't think I could have slept last night he had still been missing.

Today, I clogged up his escape route real good with a plank that I don't think he can dislodge even if he works at it for a good hour. I also need to impress on him the importance of coming to me when I call him even when he is hot on the trail of some varmint.

On a positive note, Jasper was not followed by villagers with torches and pitchforks.

I don't like worrying the way Jasper made me worry last night. Good thing I don't have children, I reckon.

Query

Is it conceivable that the US has sponsored "terrorists" in the past and continues to do so to advance foreign policy aims?

Proof of Snow

Mrs Vache Folle took this photo of my car last night about 7. There was even more snow this morning.

Complaint Department

My complaints du jour:

It was still snowing this morning when I left for the office. I need to mow the yard, but it's covered in snow.

My left knee pain has returned. Now there's also something wrong with the shin bone where it joins the knee. It hurts a lot.

I still have the plantar fasciitis and heel spur in my right foot, and they hurt a lot, too.

My allergies are in full swing with mucho snot and tears and sneezing and sinus headaches behind the eye.

My left eye is jiggling off and on.

Jasper is escaping from the yard somehow, and I can't figure out how he does it. I have to catch him in the act.

I almost ran over a beaver and spilled coffee on myself.

Other than these things, I can't complain.

Foul Weather

It is snowing here on Hosner Mountain. Fortunately, it ain't stickin'. After the crappy summer we had, I can't believe we're having early onset winter. We didn't even get an Indian Summer.

I suppose it makes no sense to complain about the weather. There's nothing for it. Might as well enjoy what Mother Earth is featuring. Autumn is a very beautiful time of year in the Hudson Valley, what with all the spectacular "foilage", as the city folks put it. Other good things about fall and winter: no more mowing; more sitting around time; more time at the office so more money; juncos; wildlife is more visible.

Every year about this time I begin to fret about having lost my winter condition driving mojo. I haven't yet lost it. I hate driving in icy conditions in the dark, but I know how to do it. Rule number one is slow the hell down. A four wheel drive is not a license to violate the laws of physics. Rule number two is avoid situations in which braking might be required. Leave lots of space in front of you. Rule number three is ignore that stop sign on Miller Hill Road when you're trying to climb the hill.

UPDATE: Now it sticketh!!

Satan Missing

So far in the first few books of the Bible, I have found no references to Satan or to an afterlife. There was one instance where Moses called down some smiting on political dissidents in the camp and sent them "alive to Sheol". The earth opened up and swallowed the victims. I don't know if the use of Sheol in this instance was figurative or if Moses claimed that he was sending his adversaries to a place known as Sheol while still alive.

Wherein I Opine About Random Stuff

Roman Polanski. If he raped a girl, he should face justice. I don't care how great a filmmaker he is.

Baseball postseason. I'd love to see Joe Torre and his Dodgers take on the Yankees who wrote him off as over the hill.

Football pools. I'm not in one, so I don't have to follow football not even a little bit.

Surrogates. Entertaining movie, albeit implausible.

Couples Retreat. Bad movie that I enjoyed and then felt ashamed that I had enjoyed it.

Johnny Walker Black. Twice as good as JW Red. I won't even try the other colors. I can't afford them so it's best that I don't know what I'm missing.

Sushi. Better out West.

Net Flix. We're in a free trial, and so far we're loving it. We've rented the first seasons of Mad Men and Weeds and are now on Season One of Battlestar Galactica. All the movies in my queue are TV shows, mostly British.

Facials. Got one Monday, and I look great. I'm going to get them regularly.

Massages. Every three weeks at a minimum is a necessity.

Heel spurs. Bad.

Guess Where I Was Last Week

Use these bad cell phone photos of public art to identify the city I visited last week.

Choir Disbanded?

It appears that my church has decided to let the music program (other then contemporary praise song leading) slide and that the consistory is not committed to hiring a choir director due to budgetary constraints. I have made my feelings about this known to the consistory for what it is worth. The chancel choir has not yet come off its summer hiatus, and I don't know that it will or that anyone other than the choir itself cares. Accordingly, I'm going to start visiting other churches in the area to see if any have a good traditional music program. I aim to start with the Epsicopalians.

Bible Study

I've finished rereading Exodus plus Leviticus, and now I'm in Numbers. So far, the rules that God has set down (or so the Levites would have everyone believe) deal mainly with the details of sacrifices and religious observances in the sanctuary and to unclean and clean states of being. Many of them seem to be temporary, i.e. limited to the time when God's sanctuary was a tent in the wilderness. Others are "permanent statutes". All, however, are directed entirely to the people of Israel and to nobody else, so I'm not paying too much attention to them at this point.

There is an interesting episode in Numbers. Some Israelites go into Canaan as spies to get the lay of the land, and all but Caleb and Joshua counsel caution and warn that the Canaanites are formidable adversaries. Later, some Israelites attempt to enter Canaan and are, in fact, slaughtered by the Canaanites. This is said by Moses to be their punishment for not believing Joshua and Caleb that they could easily take Canaan. Really?

In these books, God talks to Moses directly and appears to the people as a cloud of smoke by day and a pillar of fire by night. He likes the aroma of burning animal flesh, and He can't stand whiners. He aims to make Israel a nation of priests. Within the nation of priests, you have the Levites as priests and the House of Aaron as superpriests. I'm going to go out on a limb ad speculate that the Levites had a hand in writing these books.

Suicide in the Circle

One of Vache Folle's long time co-workers from her last job bought a gun, rented a car, drove to a beach in Long Island, and shot himself in the head. A jogger discovered his body.

Everyone who knew him is completely shocked and asking themselves how this could have happened. He was an amiable man with a family, in good health, employed and making a very good living, and by all accounts happy enough that he would not kill himself. He didn't leave a note.

When I heard the news from Mrs VF, I immediately suspected foul play. After all, he had gone in for a flu shot the day before. Who does that if they're going to kill themselves? The police are certain that it was suicide.

While I take comfort in the notion that death is always there as an escape should things become unbearable (hypothetically), I have never actually contemplated suicide. I have a hard time imagining what would drive me to it (other than a psychotic episode). What secret did Mrs VF's acquaintance harbor that led him to take his life?

Mrs VF is pretty shaken up by this.

Barbara Kellerman

Barbara Kellerman has a piece in WaPo wherein she admonishes the US not to dither with respect to Iran: http://views.washingtonpost.com/leadership/panelists/2009/09/uprooting-bad-leaders.html?hpid=smartliving

I link to the article not because it is interesting. It is not. Rather, I link to it to show an astonishingly bad piece of writing and advice from a member of the faculty at Harvard. This would have been a B- paper in the classes I taught.

Kellerman compares the president of Iran to Hitler and Iran to Nazi Germany all the while denying that she is making facile historical comparisons to Hitler and Nazi Germany. She then outlines a vague nine step program to engage Iran multilaterally on a wide range of issues while being prepared to use any weapons at our disposal. Step nine is "don't be delusional". I would add a step ten: "disregard Barbara Kellerman."

Flavored Cigarettes: Good Riddance

I heard that flavored cigarettes (except menthol) are about to be banned on the basis that they are "starter" cigarettes aimed at kids. Back in my day, we didn't have flavored smokes to entice us into smoking. We usually started smoking by trying "rabbit tobacco", an abundant wild plant that provided no satisfaction of any kind. Too bad we didn't know about Jimson Weed back then.

All the men in my family smoked, mostly cigars. My father favored Pall Malls and my stepfather Lucky Strikes. Women did not smoke, although my grandmother dipped snuff. My grandfather rolled his own cigarettes with Prince Albert in a can. He did it one handed and made a perfect cigarette effortlessly. At my grandparents on Sundays, the men would smoke up the parlor, and I would run around with the other kids under the smoke cloud. All we could see were the men's legs and feet.

In high school, the only place on campus you could smoke was the "Smoke Hole", the space under the walkway by the gym, and most of the smokers were from the ranks of the unsavory classes. The ambience of the Smoke Hole did nothing to encourage smoking.

I always assumed I'd smoke some day, and I finally started on Marlboros when I was 21 and old enough to know better. My then girlfriend smoked and turned me to the dark side. I smoked for 20 years, up to two packs a day. I settled on filterless Camels after a few years. I quit ten years ago this month, although I still smoke in my dreams.

I could never abide flavored smokes. No matter how desperate I was for a cigarette, I would not smoke a menthol. I suspect that menthol smokers smoke them just to reduce instances of bumming. Clove cigarettes are unbearable even to be around, and clove cigarette smokers tended to be hippies in my experience. So the inability to buy falovered smokes will not inconvenience me one bit. This is a loss of freedom that I will not notice.

Predictions

Terrorists will attack America if:

(a) the US leaves Afghanistan; or.

(b) the US stays in Afghanistan.

Census Fears

Slack jawed yahoos fear the census: http://pandagon.net/index.php/site/comments/video_right_wing_census_paranoia_starring_michele_bachmann_glenn_beck_and_g/

All the wingnuts in red districts should absolutely avoid being counted at all costs, while denizens of blue districts should go overboard to cooperate with the census takers. That'll show the liberals.

Colonoscopy Day

The colonoscopy results were not as favorable as I had hoped, but I am waiting for the pathology report before I freak out or anything. The procedure went a little long because of polyp removals, so I came out of anesthesia before it was entirely over. I got to see my innards on a flat screen TV. I was still dopey enough that the sensation of the probe was not overwhelming.

I felt good enough the afternoon after the procedure that Mrs Vache Folle and I did a 3.6 mile power walk. The arch supports my podiatrist prescribed made walking almost painless. There are a couple of killer hills on our route, but I reckon this just makes it more interesting. It is a great joy to be able to exercise again after several weeks of debilitating foot problems.

After the procedure, and 30 hours without food, Mrs Vache Folle treated me to fried oysters at Joe Willy's Fish Shack and Ice Cream Parlor. They were pretty good but a little bready for my tastes. It was good to eat again.

This and That

We watched the Prime Time Emmys last night and were pleasantly surprised that it didn't suck. Neil Patrick Harris was a terrific host, and there was a great deal of self referential humor and meta-humor that played on all the aspects of awards shows that make them long and boring. For example, the president of the academy was introduced and then thanked for not speaking. There were no presenters of presenters, and some presenters presented more than one award at a time. There was a clock that showed how far behind schedule the show was. Winners with multiple people were limited to one speaker, and all the winners kept their remarks short and sometimes funny. 30 Rock ruled the evening.

I went to the podiatrist on Thursday and found out my heel problem is plantar fasciitis. I got a shot of cortisone right in my heel and a prescription for arch supports. The podiatrist wrote down the diagnosis so I could "Google it". That way he didn't have tell me that the root cause of the problem was my being a fat ass. Later, I visited my proctologist and set up a colonoscopy for this coming Thursday. I swear there must be a gravitational anomaly at the scale in her office.

We drove to Kingston on Saturday to get local, grass fed, organic meat at Fleischer's and to take in the farmers' market. We got some cheeses and bread, some nectarines and brussels sprouts, and some comb honey. We bought a month's worth of meat. We also had lunch at a delightful French restaurant, Le Canard Enchaine. Lunch there will now become part of our monthly Kingston routine.

Among the things we acquired at Fleischer's was a brisket. They had stocked up for the Jewish holidays, although I don't know if the place is kosher. We don't care, since we're not Jews, and if we were Jews we'd probably be secular bacon eating Jews like most Jews we know. Anyway, Mrs Vache Folle brushed on a mix of broth and barbecue sauce, and we cooked the thing at 275 degrees for over five hours. At an hour before it was done, we threw in a mess of taters, carrots and 'shrooms. The meat was practically falling apart and melted in our mouths. The leftovers have been callling to me.

I did a lot of mucking this weekend now that the water level in the pond is very low. Mrs Vache Folle, as part of mucking avoidance, harvested and processed a lot of vegetables from the garden. She found a pretty good recipe for turnips, and we used the carrots in the brisket. We'll have to give away squashes and chard, if we can get any takers. I need to pull out at least 50 more wheelbarrow loads of muck, and there's lots more to harvest from the garden.

We still don't have a choir director, so I haven't been singing in church. I haven't even been attending services. I don't know what the plan is for the choir, but I'll be very disappointed if the church goes all contemporary, all the time and dispenses with the chancel choir. Frankly, I'd have to change churches or just spend some time church-free. The music program is that important to me.

More Exodus

Moses, and his brother and mouthpiece Aaron, are charged with informing the Hebrews that I AM, the God of their ancestors, is going to take them out of Egypt and install them in the Promised Land. Moses has been given some magical powers (a staff that becomes a snake and a leprous hand that heals itself) to convince the Hebrews of his bona fides. Moses and Aaron are also charged with approaching Pharaoah about ketting the Hebrews leave.

At the same time, I AM hardens Pharaoh's heart so that he won't let the Hebrews leave in order that He may smite the Egyptians with a series of plagues. These culminate in the visitation of the Angel o' Death and the demise of every firstborn. (As a firstborn myself, I have always taken issue with this story. Why not the secondborn for a change?) The Hebrews take off, not before plundering, and Pharoah pursues them. Moses parts the Red Sea, the Hebrews cross on dry land, and the Egyptians are drowned.

The story strains credulity, but it makes for one powerful myth for nationbuilding later on. Does it matter whether the Hebrews actually fled fom Egypt? Not as far as I'm concerned. Which is a good thing since I'm pretty sure it didn't happen on the scale suggested by the story.

A Mystery

God made Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and their ilk for His own ineffable purposes, and He made a mutlitude of humans stupid enough to heed them. Farther along, we'll understand why.

Democrats are Better than Republicans

Right wingers seem to be all over the place ideologically. The coalition includes country clubbers who just want to keep their taxes down and swarthy people out of their neighborhoods (except their servants) and Christian Dominionists who want to establish an American Taliban of sorts. Then there's them as are motivated almost entirely by race and ethnic hatred. Moreover, there's a slew of just plain authoritarians who can't stand it when anyone has any choices in life they they themselves wouldn't make (or claim that they wouldn't make). What holds all this together? Stupidity on the part of the right wing electorate and a shameless desire for power at any cost by the right wing leadership. Otherwise, the coalition makes no sense, and you'd have some Republican politicians who at least pretended to give a rat's ass about the well being of the country.

That's also why it's easier for the right to keep its focus on a set of insane talking points and to be disciplined. There aren't any real differences of opinion among them, just competition for place within the Party. They don't have to think about policy or the common good, because that's irrelevant to them. In fact, the shittier things are, the better for them since they rely so heavily on fear and anxiety.

The Democrats, while not being saints, actually seem to care about policy and to have genuine good faith differences among themselves. This makes them look "undisciplined" compared to the GOP with its officials marching in lockstep all the time. The left sometimes wishes that its party were more ruthless and under tighter control, but that would be a monstrous tragedy and the end of even the appearance of democracy. If we had two parties engaged in a no holds barred power grab, they would destroy the country. As it is, the GOP may be able to destroy the country all by itself.

GOP=Bolshevik?

I noticed that some right wing jack offs have decided to be "anti-Czar" and to claim falsely that they represent the majority. Do you know who else took these same positions? Vladimir I. Lenin, that's who. He was against the Czar, and he called his party the Bolshevik Party, or Majority Party, even though they did not represent a majority.

It turns out the GOP is full of Commies.

Celebs Behaving Badly

I have had a few meltdowns in my day, but I was lucky that they didn't take place in very public situations and they weren't on tape. I can identify with Serena Williams and her tantrum involving a line judge. I might have promised to put the ball in a different orifice. Of course, Miss Williams will suffer the consequences. This isn't the NFL, you know. It's better to be able to control these things, and I am blessed that the Holy Ghost has helped me curb my anger.

Kanye West's behavior was of a very different order. It was the height of douchebaggery to take the stage and spoil Taylor Swift's and, ultimately, Beyonce's moments. He's not likely to suffer any consequences. Maybe this will start a hip hop/country feud that will end in a bloodbath. I hope not. He should have written a poem that expressed his feelings and put it to music.

Cops

On our way out of NYC a week ago Sunday, we had to stop on the Saw Mill Parkway for a DWI checkpoint. I had had a cocktail and a glass of wine several hours earlier but was not impaired in the least. It's possible that my blood alcohol content might have exceeded the ridiculously low level for driving while intoxicated, so the checkpoint provoked a little anxiety. I was prepared, however, to follow the advice I always give: look the cop right in the eye and lie. If he asks you whether you have been drinking, say "no, I haven't". Never say anything like "I had a couple of beers" or "I had wine with dinner". That's all the thugs need to make you blow in the breathalizer doohickey.

They didn't ask and just waved me through. To be cute, a couple of cops stood just inside my lane and pretty much dared me to brush them with my side mirrors. I didn't, though. That's another piece of free legal advice for you. Don't run over the cops.

I hate it when cops ask me "Do you know why I stopped you?" I do not plan to incriminate myself, and I have a hard time holding back a smart ass rejoinder. Some of the responses that come into my head are:

"Racial profiling?"

"Those warrants from Arizona?"

"You solved all the murders and don't have anything better to do?"

"You're hitting on me?"

Do as I do. Don't say these things out loud. Don't provoke the police, especially bored to death highway patrolmen. They genuinely have nothing better to do than fuck with you.

I know where the cops hang out on the Taconic, so I always abide by the speed limit when I'm in their hunting grounds. They're too lazy and unimaginative to occupy new stations, so everybody speeds like hell except where the cops usually lurk. The junction with I-84 is a favorite cop hangout so slow down as you approach it.

Ungentlemanlike Conduct

I know that Congresscritters, especially from the GOP, are unmitigated douchenozzles by definition, but they should at least pretend to act like ladies and gentlemen.

Take Shouty Joe Wilson, for example. He's an example of how gentlemanlike conduct is no longer to be expected from Members of Congress. I reckon they'll let anybody be a Congressman these days.

Shouty Joe is also a retired colonel of the National Guard, a calling that once was reserved to gentlemen. Nowadays anybody may receive commission it seems. He's a lawyer, too, another once respectable profession now made available to all comers and having no more dignity than that of an intinerant grifting driveway resurfacer. See how far we have fallen as a society when an officer and a lawyer and a Congressman no longer feels any need to try to behave with decorum during an address by the President of the United States to a joint session of Congress. The man's a southerner, the last holdout for good manners, so we know civility is good and dead.

Let's hope that Shouty Joe's mother did not live to see his shameful conduct.

Workers Comp Pays for Pizza Cook's Weight Loss Surgery

Via Huffington Post I found this story about a pizza cook whose employer is being forced to pay for his weight loss surgery http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/10/court-says-employer-must-_n_282676.html The 340 pounder was injured on the job, and his doctors opine that he has to drop considerable weight before required back surgery can be undertaken.

This is an instance I reckon of taking your victim as you find him. If a really fat man hurts his back or knees or hip or what have you, there's a good chance that weight loss surgery will be needed as a prerequisite to healing the injured part.

The author of the article reckons that this will give employers an incentive to take a pass on really fat applicants for employment.

Mystery

What is the one thing that Meat Loaf won't do for love? I don't think he ever said.

GOP Rebuttal to School Speech

Learnin's for queers!

This and That

My aunt and uncle are in town for the tennis matches, so we started following the tennis to be able to converse about it with them. I must say that I've enjoyed the amazing run of fellow Georgian Melanie Oudin a/k/a the Russian Slayer.

I have had something wrong with my right foot for several weeks now. My heel hurts excrutiatingly all the time even though there are no signs of inflammation or contusions. I am set to see a podiatrist next week. The same day, I'm also scheduled to see my ass doctor to set up a colonoscopy. Has it really been three years? The procedure itself is not so bad, but the prep is medieval.

Yesterday Mrs Vache Folle and I treated ourselves to spa manicures and pedicures. Today, I aim to muck in the pond and wreck my beautiful nails. I haven't been able to muck all summer because the incessant rain has kept the pond too deep, so I've got some catching up to do.

Speaking of the pond, that blue heron is hanging out in a tulip tree by the back yard even as I type. He's waiting for Jasper to let down his guard so he can eat my comets.

The neighbor's cats have been eating the voles by the big shed. Good for them. The voles have been emboldened by the food scraps in the compost heap, and now the cats are taking advantage. Maybe they'll stay away from the bird feeder for a while.

So many of my countrymen are batshit crazy that it is truly frightening. At least some of them have had the decency to self identify by taking their spawn out of school today to keep them from being exposed to President Obama's innocuous speech.

What Harwood Said

http://www.dailykostv.com/w/002101/

Half Moon

Four centuries ago this week, Henry Hudson in his vessel the Half Moon discovered the Hudson River. All along the Hudson Valley, we are celebrating the quadricentennial.

As an expat from Dixie, you'd think I had no real stake in the quadricentennial, but you'd be wrong. It turns out that some of my ancestors, the Van Hoozers and their kin and affines, were among the earliest settlers in the Hudson Valley and the founders of Claverack about an hour north of where I now live. One of the Van Hoozers made his way to North Carolina in the 18th century and spawned a great many southern descendants.

Jan Franze Van Hoozer (or Van Hussen as it was sometimes spelled then) was from Huss in Schleswig Holstein. He migrated to Amsterdam and then to the Hudson Valley in the 17th century.

I'm also related to Livingston of Livingston Manor, so I'm looking forward to the quadricentennial as a celebration of my heritage.

Expressions

When someone uses the expression "boots on the ground" with a number to describe an investment in personnel, are we supposed to divide the number by two to get the number of people? I vote that we use the expression only when there's no precise number involved as in "enough boots on the ground" or "more boots on the ground" or "fewer boots on the ground". I also vote that we use the expression sparingly in the context of discussing the importance of land forces in a military undertaking. It should never be used to describe a parade or a crowd.

I really like the expression "true dat". I have been insensibly substituting it in my speech for "tell you what" and "boy howdy". It gives me a more urban edge, don't you think?

If I hear "it is what it is" one more time, I may very well kill someone. What the hell does that even mean? To say that something is what it is is to say less than nothing about it. I have taken to responding to this expression with "or is it?" to which I get befuddled looks. I suspect an insidious Randian influence at work.

I haven't gotten any traction with my campaign to make "smell you later" the preferred farewell phrase. My German agent dropped the ball and failed to introduce it into Europe as I had hoped. I like "see you later" because I get to say "not if I see you first", but "smell you later" would really rock.

I had a friend in university who responded to "how are you" with "better than most and not as good as some". I reckon there is a social compact that dictates that the response to "how are you" should invariably be "fine, and you", but there are many folks who didn't get the memo and who insist on describing their minor ailments and complaints. This forces me to pretend to care. I have taken to offering radical advice on how to deal with the complaints, and I hope that this will provide a disincentive to the whiners (as I call them in my head). Maybe I'll answer "how are you" truthfully and see how it goes. "How are you, Vache?" "Pretty good except for persistent scrotal and perineal itching, and you?"

I have not had the opportunity to use "see you in hell" in conversation in years or to have it directed at me. What a shame.

Obama's Vietnam

On Countdown, or some such show, the other day, it came up that some GOP strategists were looking to make Afghanistan "Obama's Vietnam". The opening salvo may have been George Will's column calling for withdrawal from Afghanistan.

What would the target constituency be for such a strategy? Democrats and Obama supporters tend to be smart enough to know that Aghanistan was inherited by Obama and screwed up by GW Bush. Even the most anti-war of liberals aren't going to align themselves with the GOP. I reckon you might keep some of them home on election day, but the GOP is bound to nominate a scary candidate that will offset any tendency on the left to stay away from the polls.

Is there some group in the swing voter set that the GOP would be courting? I suppose that there are quite a few complete dumbasses among swing voters. At the least the GOP is counting on a high level of dumbassery.

What about the GOP base? I reckon they'll do as they're told. Cognitive dissonance only matters when there's sufficient cognitive capacity. Still, the GOP has invested a lot in the meme that supporting the troops equals supporting the war, and it may be hard for even the most authoritarian among us to do a complete 180. Every weekend for years, a bunch of yahoos hang out on Route 9 near the Galleria Mall and wave flags and signs that support the wars and the troops. Across the way, some peace demonstrators do their thing. If the call goes out from Rush Limbaugh, will these folks cross the street and carry peace signs?

Coyote Serenade

For over five years now, we've been regaled from time to time with the strangely beautiful midnight caterwauling of some animals. This gets Jasper all riled up, and we have to drag him in from a barking frenzy. Mrs Vache Folle has for years insisted that this was a rout of coyotes, but I always reckoned she didn't know peediddlysquat about life in the country. It turns out she has been correct all along. My apologies for doubting you, Madam.

I saw one of them yesterday in broad daylight down by Kiyiwana farms. Of course, they're naturally diurnal and only stick to darkness to stay shy of humankind, so this was not alarming or anything. What beautiful animals they are.

Exodus

We've finally worked our way through Genesis and are ready to examine the fabulous tale of Exodus. Let me be honest with you right up front. I don't believe this story. It's just not borne out by history, archaeology or common sense. I'll grant that some "Hebrews", as we find them called for the first time, were enslaved in Egypt and escaped to the Promised Land, but I reckon most of them were already in the Promised Land and that the refugees from Egypt and the various tribes in situ united to take control of gthe region at some point. Exodus was a useful myth to bind the tribes together and to justify their genocidal rampage across the land.

That's not to say that Exodus isn't interesting or useful for instruction. We get the first inklings of God's Law in Exodus.

The central character, other than God, is Moses. He's a Hebrew by birth, but he ends up adopted by Pharoah's daughter. He commits a murder and has to flee into the land of Midian. He settles in with Jethro, the priest of Midian, and marries one of his daughters.

Meanwhile, back in Egypt, the Hebrews have been complaining about their mistreatment so much that God hears about it. Then He remembers that covenant he made with the patriarchs and decides to use Moses in His plan to liberate the Hebrews and install them in the Promised Land.

For reasons known only to God, He appears to Moses in the form of a talking burning bush and informs Moses of his mission. Moses asks God His name, and God replies that His name is "I AM". God promises that He will smite the Egyptians and that the Hebrews will get to plunder them on their way out.

Texas Has To Go

The idea that states may secede from the US was pretty much laid to rest in 1865. However, we haven't yet tested the idea of expulsion of states. I say we try it out on Texas. Texas is a cancer on the US, and it must be amputated if our country is ever to be healthy.

Imagine America without Texas. Pretty nice, huh?

Texas would make a handy third world country right in our backyard for any other whackos to emigrate to. We'd have Texas as an example of what life would be like if the whackadoodles were in control. That'd shut a few folks up.

Of course, we'll want to close all military installations and move our stuff out of Texas before we kick them out. Texans in the military would be discharged unless they renounce Texan citizenship and take a loyalty oath. Texans should be required to have visas to travel to the US, and most of them shouldn't be allowed in under any circumstances. Texans hate us for our freedoms.

Good Thing We Have the Holy Ghost

Sunday's sermon had a theme that each of us "belongs to the ages". On the one hand, the preacher wanted us to recall that we were made for eternity, while on the other he stressed the importance of "the dash" on your tombstone between your birth and death dates. He was kind of all over the place if you ask me. He preached about King David whose deeds served the purposes of the Lord in his generation and who then died. He also spoke of several parishioners who had recently died and whose lives of service and faith had been so meaningful and whose legacy lived on in the church.

That's the problem with the whole eternal life thing. What's the point of the here and now really if it's just a minor blip? We probably won't even remember ever having been alive after a couple of thousand years in the afterlife.

Since we have the Holy Ghost now, we are already living in eternity to the extent that He/She/It dwells in us. The Holy Ghost makes us love our neighbors and attend to the suffering in this world even though we have the hope of eternal life. Without the Holy Ghost, the promise of eternal life would blind us to the troubles of the world.

Taking Woodstock

Mrs Vache Folle and I went to see "Taking Woodstock" on Saturday. We found it sufficiently diverting to recommend it to people we like. We like Demetri Martin, and he was good in it as Elliot Tiber, the son of down on their luck Catskill moteliers who helped bring the Woodstock Festival to his town. I don't have any idea how accurate the movie was, but I don't really care. I was eleven years old at the time and read a little about it in LIFE magazine a few months later. It didn't signify for me since the sexual and cultural revolution, just as Sherman's army had a century earlier, bypassed my hometown altogether. I didn't find out about the revolution until I was in college.

Anyway, I don't have any special attachment to the idea of Woodstock as anything other than a music festival that was well attended. So I had no expectations for the movie and was content with a story that hung on the fringes of the event. The story treats the concert goers as pretty nice people, and I suppose they were since there weren't very many casualties.

God Will Increase and His Fancy Coat

God Will Increase was Strives With God's favorite of his twelve sons. He was a tattler and he was tactless enough to lord it over his brothers when he had dreams that he would rule over them. So they conspired to murder him. Behold a Son convinced the other brothers to spare God Will Increase, so they sold him into slavery instead and told their old man that he had been eaten by a wild beast. They bloodied up God Will Increase's many hued coat that Strives With God had given him as evidence.

Everybody knows the story of how God Will Increase, on the strength of his dream interpretation skills but an otherwise pretty sketchy resume, rose from obscure slavery and imprisonment to become the steward of all Egypt during seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine.

God Will Increase's brothers end up in Egypt during the famine to buy food, and God Will Increase messes with them big time. He doesn't reveal his identity to them and frames them for theft. He demands that they go home and bring their youngest brother Son of My Right Arm and holds some hostages. Hilarity ensues with the big reveal, and God Will Increase forgives his brothers. He moves the whole family to Egypt. This sets up the book of Exodus.

The moral of the story is that it's ok to sell your kid brother into slavery as long as it ends well.

What the Government Does For Me

Mrs Vache Folle and I "own" our home. That is to say that as long as we keep paying the banks who hold the mortgages and the taxing authorities at whose sufferance we are permitted to occupy "our" home, we can live in it and fix it up more or less as we please (subject to permit requirements and zoning restrictions and what have you). We have a yard and garden and several acres of woods, and we have the right to the exclusive use of these (until they're condemned by the government and taken away). We are perfectly within our rights to exclude others from our property, and I suppose that having the backing of the state and the police in this is something of a deterrent to those who might otherwise squat on our property or invade our home.

We don't really have to do much to exercise our rights to exclusive use. In fact, as far as I know, nobody has ever trespassed. We take sensible precautions such as locking the doors when we leave and keeping a scary looking dog or two. Moreover, we maintain good relations with our stay at home neighbors who keep an eye on the place. We all keep an eye out for suspicious doings and look our for our neighbors (except for the antisocial nutty ones).

Much of the security we enjoy derives from the good fortune of having amiable and honest neighbors who respect one another's privacy and boundaries and who care for one another. I also suspect that a lot of the security we enjoy comes from the concept of state sanctioned property rights and other machinations of the government. I like the convenience of not having to guard everything all the time and not having to be prepared to defend the possession of our estate from all comers. There are just a few comers, the state and the banks, that we have to contend with. With the banks, we volunteered to have them in the title records. With the government, we didn't volunteer, but it's probably worth a good deal of what we pay to have the potential protection afforded by the police and the courts. In a shittier neighborhood, this protection probably wouldn't be worth much, and property values and tax rates reflect this.

Beyond the police and courts and having the force of the law behind us, local government works to mantain the quality of the inhabitants of our neighborhood by taxing for schools at such a high rate that high income families are attracted by the promise of good (i.e. having relatively few low income students) schools and are willing to pay higher prices for homes in the community. This elevates home values and taxes on them and drives low income families out of the neighborhood by taxing them beyond what they can afford or making selling their homes too lucrative to pass up. This in turn decreases the probability that our property rights will be trampled on by anyone other than the government itself.

Finally, the government enforces significant restrictions on development which prevent us and our neighbors from subdividing our property and putting up denser housing. This likewise serves to keep the level of riff raff manageable.

I hate to admit it, but a lot of what makes my neighborhood desirable may very well be a product of government. Did I mention that about half of the neighborhood is owned by NYC as a preserve for its water supply? That keeps development down and our quality of life up.

If only we could achieve all this without the threat of violence.

Reflections on Genesis

In rereading Genesis, I have been amazed to notice, for the first time in many readings, that quite a few important concepts are missing. There's no Satan, for a huge example. There's also no concept of the immortal soul. Accordingly, there's also no heaven, no hell and no afterlife. Rewards and punishments, such as they are, come in the present life, and the most important promises are corporate. Father of Multitudes is promised seed beyond number, and I suppose that was a comfort to him, but he himself was destined to return to the dust from whence he came. His immortality consists in his descendants, in the nation that would arise from him.

We'll have to keep a lookout for the appearance and subsequent evolution of the missing concepts as we continue our Bible study.

Freedom

One of the leading ideas about the origin of the state is the "hydraulic theory". In a nutshell and doing it no service, the theory states that societies dependent on irrigation for agriculture were vulnerable to someone's taking control of the water and exerting power over others. Some warlord and his goons could seize the waterworks or provide protection of the waterworks from other warlords and their goons in exchange for taxes and obedience. I suppose any necessary infrastructure would do as a basis for enslavement.

It seems to me that sedentism is the first requirement. It would be hard, although not impossible, to lord it over foragers. I suppose you could stake out a claim to a hunting ground and demand tribute, but the effort involved in that would exceed the effort involved in being a collaborative forager or the leader of a foraging band. Nomads would be easier to extort from since they need grazing lands and water that you could, in principle, control. This would probably not be very profitable as the sole basis of a protection racket but it might be a good sideline for an already established protostate. Agriculture with its concomitant supluses and the greater division of labor is a prerequisite to a truly profitable racket.

It's possible that some of the early racketeeers may have actually added value by protecting their victims, er subjects, from the ravages of worse racketeers and by extracting less than they might have. Some early racketeers may have hit upon the idea that there was an optimum level of extraction that would generate the most revenue while encouraging industry and the convenient acquiesence of the subjects in the rule of the racketeers. Eventually, some of the racketeers would have discovered the idea of the republic wherein the racketeers would rule under the fiction that they did so with the affirmative consent of the ruled.

The lesson of history, I suppose, is that there is always some asshole who is ready to to serve as your warlord. If you have anyting you care about, that's the source of their power. Freedom, it has bee famously said, is just another word for nothing left to lose.

If I Didn't Self Identify as an Anarchist, How Would Anyone Know I was one?

If I really think about it and am honest with myself, Vache Folle the anarchist isn't very different from Vache Folle the deluded dupe of the state. Sure, I'm disllusioned and have learned as a mental exercise to problematize the concept of the state, but my personal actions aren't much different on account of it. I was never active politically in any event, and I wasn't one to collaborate with the government even when I accepted its legitimacy and necessity without question.

I suppose my attitude is different. Nowadays, I acquiesce in the actions and extractions of the government. I sometimes have to work to avoid feeling bitter and resentful, but by and large I pay my taxes and obey the law (mostly) with indifference. I don't want to be locked up or murdered, so I just go along with it. I like my house, so I pay my property taxes quietly in order to keep it.

If I never expressed an opinion about the state's being problematic, you'd never know my views were anything outside the mainstream. I don't know that my lifestyle is informed in any way by my political views.

Of course, my political views stem from my religious beliefs and these do, albeit not to the extent that one might hope, inform my life choices and the way I treat others.

More Genesis

When we last looked in on Supplanter, he was annoyed at his sons for their mass murder of the males of the city of Shechem and their pillaging. God tells him to move to Bethel. Oddly, since God supposedly already did this three chapters ago, God renames Supplanter Strives With God and promises to multiply his seed just as had been promised to Supplanter's father and grandfather.

In Bethel, Ewe goes into labor and dies in childbirth. As she is dying, she names her new son Son of My Sorrow. Strives With God renames him Son of My Right Hand.

Then Strives With God goes to see his old man He Laughs who, at the age of 180, dies and is buried by Strives With God and He Finishes.

In Genesis 36, just as Father of Multitudes and his nephew had to split up to avoid exceeding the carrying capacity of the land, He Finishes moves away from Strives With God to the hill country of Seir. He has descendants who became known as the Edomites. Some genealogical details are provided but these are neither entertaining or instructive.

Jesse

Jesse Lou Bagget, our superannuated Carpathian Shepherd, hates thunderstorms. This has not been his year. We have had more and more violent thunderstorms this year than I have ever experienced (except in the Tampa area). Consequently, I have had to endure Jesse's pitiable but unremediable discomfort. If it's overnight, I get little sleep because he keeps trying to hide in ridiculously small spaces and makes a mess of things and a huge racket to boot. Jasper the Salopian Terrier is oblivious to the storms.

I would like to get some doggie downers, but I'm afraid that Jesse might be too frail for them. Maybe I'll just lock him out of the bedroom. It's not as if I can console him or anything. Poor old guy. He'd probably piss on stuff if I lock him out. That's how he rolls.

Lately, and I suspect his loss of balance is the cause, Jesse has been pooping while he walks instead of stopping and depositing a pile. Seriously, turds just fly out of his ass, and you have to be careful if you're walking behind him. Sometimes, I think he doesn't even know he's pooping. I find small turds here and there around the house. Fortunately, Jesse's poop is almost always well formed and in small quantities. Jasper, on the other hand, lays cable. It looks as if a dinosaur has taken a crap.

When you live with dogs, you get used to the occasional bodily excretion on the floor. When you get up in the night to pee, you pray that what you stepped in is vomit. Vomit is the least objectional of the canine ejecta. Jesse likes to vomit on the shelves of book cases for some reason, but he rarely vomits. Jasper vomits when his pancreatitits to which he is prone flares up. I had some beagles who seemed to vomit just for the hell of it.

It's hard to see the dogs get old.

Serenity

I'm not especially apathetic, but I have learned to acquiesce in a lot of bad things because I recognize that I can't do a damned thing about them.

The state, for instance, is only going to get stronger in my lifetime. I'll never see it whither away, mainly because my conspecifics just aren't ready to govern themselves. Their hearts and minds want serious transforming, and I'll never see it until that great gettin' up mornin' bye and bye.

Right wing yahoos are here to stay, too. All I can do is keep my eyes open and be ready to take appropriate action to defend myself from them when I have to.

Bad journalism will always be with us. I just have to work around it and look for alternative sources of information.

Corporatism isn't going away any time soon. I can try to use my power as a consumer to undermine it, and that makes me feel better. Also, I can be a really shitty corporate bureaucrat and undermine the system from within.

As long as I'm married to Mrs Vache Folle, there will be an Idiot Brother in Law. Every precious jewel comes with a curse.

Biting insects will be here as long as there is blood to suck. I'll just have to use OFF.

Despite all these bad things and more, I take pleasure in cultivating my garden and living as mindfully as I am able. Also, there's alcohol and Xanax.

Happy Days are Almost Here Again

The recession may be ending, or so I am told by folks on the radio and the TeeVee. I figured this was the case, because my consumer spending has been way up, and I'm one of the leading economic indicators. As I go, so goes the economy. When I got laid off a couple of years ago, we went into retrenchment mode, then our home equity disappeared almost overnight and our 401(k)s shriveled up. Now, we're thinking prospects are looking up, and we're buying stuff. And we didn't need a government stimulus to get us going, although the fact that GOP bozos aren't in charge has had a lot to do with our rising confidence levels. The stimulus package probably helped even if by way of an economic placebo affect.

My home equity is still not going back up, and I've stopped looking at my 401(k), so I don't yet feel as wealthy as I once did. Houses still aren't moving quickly, and there's a glut of McMansions in the area where we live. But values aren't falling like they were, and it looks as if home values may have been corrected and are now stable. We're lucky in that our house is still worth more than what we paid for it almost 6 years ago.

Let's just hope neither of us gets sick.

Public and Private Coexist

The American University, mine and Mrs Vache Folle's alma mater, is doing very well in competition with the University of the District of Columbia and the University of Maryland, two nearby public options. TAU is a private entity that competes head to head with public entities for students and faculty, and I haven't heard anyone argue that public colleges will drive private colleges out of business.

FedEx and UPS don't seem to be much put out by the existence of the United States Postal Service.

Public and private hospitals coexist in many communities as do public and private golf courses and other recreational facilities.

Public housing exists right alongside private apartments.

The MTA runs trains and buses in competition with private cabs and limos.

Why couldn't a public health insurance option coexist with private health insurance? Is it because we don't want people to have too many choices?

The End of the Wire

We watched the last episode of The Wire last night. I feel a lot like the way I felt when I finished the last Patrick O'Brian novel. I'm devastated that it's over. The Wire was one of the best series ever. I don't usually care for cop shows, but that's because they're so incredibly unlike what it's like in real police departments and prosecutors' offices. The Wire, on the other hand, captured all the politics and bureaucracy and diverse agendas of the players through well developed characters who lived them.

I didn't catch The Wire when it first came out. I saw it on HBO on Demand when it became available. I learned about it from Barack Obama who cited it as a show he liked. Mr Obama, you are a man of taste, and I thank you for the recommendation.

I hear that the creator of The Wire has a new series to come out next year about New Orleans in the aftermath of Katrina. I will be watching.

HBO has it going on when it comes to original series.

Nephews Visit Again

Mrs Vache Folle's nephews visited again this weekend, this time without their paternal ancestors. It was fun. We had our traditional seafood feast on Friday evening with clams, jumbo shrimp on skewers, oysters and swordfish, all on the grill. The boys made salads from the garden. A good time was had by all.

On Saturday, I got to take the boys to Splashdown Beach, a small water park ten minutes away over in Wappingers. It was a perfect day, hot and sunny, for splashing around in the wave pool and floating on the lazy river. I avoided the scary water slides as beneath my dignity, but the kids did them all plus the arcade and the boardwalk games. That night we went to Tokaharu in Hopewell Junction and ate sushi and sashimi (two boats plus two orders of udon) until we were in pain.

On Sunday, their mother came to get them, and we all had salmon and garden salads for lunch.

Those kids can eat. Fortunately, they can also help with the cooking. Their mother is a chef, and she has taught them a lot. They're also very adventurous eaters.

I also put them to work on Friday with mowing and weed whacking and hunting for dog poop so they'd have some spending money at the water park.

Good Thing Bush Built those FEMA Camps

My conspecifics at the office told me over lunch that they had heard that a bunch of right wing militias were forming to overthrow the government. That's all we need.

This would be treason, right? Wouldn't the use of violence or threats of violence by non-state actors for political purposes constitute domestic terrorism? Those FEMA camps are going to come in real handy.

Mowing

A couple of years ago, I decided to do all my own mowing and weed whacking to get exercise and save money. Usually, mowing and weed whacking are pretty manageable since most of the summer is dry and the yard wants mowing only every other week or so. I have over an acre and a half in mowable area. Not so in 2009. It has rained almost every day, and the yard has wanted mowing twice a week at times. Given that the grass hs been wet much of the time or that it has been raining, the opportunities to mow have been restricted. I have had to become an obsessive mower in such dribs and drabs as nature has offered me. I have been beating the shit out of my mowers as they were not made for cutting wet grass. If I had a mowing service, though, I'd be broke since it runs about $75 a pop to cut the grass.

Nevertheless, I still like to mow. I always have. I know not why. Maybe it's a Zen thing. When I'm mowing, I'm just mowing and nothing else.

I've been following the rules of organic lawn care in that I don't care if there are weeds in the yard. I'm not interested in monoculture. I just want some greenish ground cover. Also, I cut the grass and weeds at about three inches and mulch the clippings back into the yard. See, I'm being organic, not lazy or anything. Anyway, it saves money and effort, and I'm not polluting the environment with herbicides or chemical fertilizers.

I started a compost heap. I'm pretty good at throwing crap on it but not so great at turning it. Hell, I'm going to turn it right now while I'm thinking about it. Or not.

Death Panels?

What the hell is up with the wingnuts and their "death panels"? Project much? They fear "death panels" because that's what they'd do if they had the power.

As for the provision in the health care bill about end of life services, I say BFT. Hospice has been a great comfort to some of my kin and acquaintances, and we could all use some help with dealing with the issues surrounding the end of our lives and the lives of our loved ones.

Return of IBIL

Idiot Brother in Law visited over the weekend with his kids and stepfather. The kids and stepfather were ok, but IBIL was insufferable. He's an unmitigated douchenozzle, even when sober(which to his credit he appears to have been for over two years now). He makes claims to being libertarian of the vulgar subspecies but he's actually an authoritarian. His primary outward expression is resentment and bitterness, but underneath it all is fear. I'd hate to be him and sober.

It's a wonder how his sister, born of the same parents and raised in the same household, could be so different. His kids don't manifest any of his deficiencies, either. At least not yet. His incredible laziness keeps him from expending much effort in transmitting them.

I wish there was some way to describe this person. Perhaps some examples of his utterances would suffice. "I want to teach my sons to kill and gut a deer." How many times has IBIL done either of these things? Never and never. "I prefer minor league baseball." How many minor league games had IBIL attended or listened to on the radio at the time of the utterance? None. "I'm a tax payer, not a tax parasite." This utterance was made when IBIL had a sinecure with the county government and when he paid zero federal taxes due to exemptions for his children.

Anyway, it was exhausting to be around such a toxic individual.

Turns Out I Was Born in Kenya

http://kenyanbirthcertificategenerator.com/

Globalization Killed the Dinosaurs

I caught an interesting program on one of the science channels about what killed the dinosaurs. Apparently, the asteroid that smashed into the earth at the end of the Cretaceous came at the tail end of on an already full on mass extinction. The theory is that continental drift brought the formerly separate continents together, that critters (especially large dinosaurs) migrated into new continents, that this messed with the ecosystems, and that contact between animals from different continents spread diseases to which the animals lacked immunity.

This sounds like a pretty good argument against unchecked globalization.

Wherein I Spin My Ineptitude as Virtue

My lack of handiness is abundantly manifest this week and the last.

The sump pump pretty much gave up after continuous operation for months on end, so I had to get some pump guys in to replace it. "Did you install this yourself? they asked. Were they kidding?

One of the wind gusts we've been having torqued the crap out of a big branch on the weeping willow tree out front. It's about 20 feet up, so I'd have to get pretty liquored up to get up on a ladder with a chain saw and take the branch off myself. I called an "arborist" instead, and he'll be by on Friday.

Tomorrow, the septic tank gets pumped. That's just routine maintenance as there's nothing wrong with the tank. I don't feel too bad about not having septic tank pumping know how and equipment.

Yesterday, I had an electrician over because I can't get the kitchen light to work. I was so embarrassed about it being such a small job that I thought up a few other things for the guy to do. Turns out the fixture is defective, so it wasn't my ignorance and ineptitude at work. I asked him to get me a new light as part of the job.

The Culligan man is also coming tomorrow to fix the leaking water purifier.

I engaged a handyman to do a bunch of jobs around the place, but he never came back after replacing the mailbox.

I reckon I'm doing my part for the economy by leaving stuff to the pros. It's the duty of every American who can afford it to hire as many tradesmen and service people as they can. We pay our neighbors to babysit our dogs and clean our house, and I would have a lawn guy if I didn't depend on mowing to get exercise.

Miracle Whip Will Not Tone it Down. I Mean, How Could It?

Hat tip to brand freak (http://www.brandfreak.com/2009/05/miracle-whip-will-not-just-sit-there-quietly-like-that-pathetic-mayo.html) for this image. Also, he has interesting commentary on this jaw dropping ad campaign.

Apparently, Miracle Whip is hip now, or that's the way it's being marketed. We ate Miracle Whip when I was a kid because it was cheaper than mayo and we were poor. Now I can afford mayo. End of story.

What's next? "This is not your father's SPAM!" or We're Velveeta! What are you looking at!?!"

Keep Brown Shirts Under Surveillance

When the Brown Shirts show up to disrupt town hall meetings (http://videocafe.crooksandliars.com/heather/rachel-maddow-gop-thugishness-town-halls-called), progressives shouldn't just take it on the chin. They should assign security personnel to take pictures of the Brown Shirts and record them and figure out who they are. Each Brown Shirt so identified could be assigned to a handler who would follow the individual's activities on the web, etc and post about them so it would be clear that the Brown Shirt Movement is orchestrated by right wing interest groups. The network of Brown Shirts and their leadership could then be exposed. This would help to nip things in the bud if the Brown Shirts decide to escalate matters into outright domestic terrorism, which they very well might.

The FBI ought to be doing this if it is going to be worthy of the name of secret police, but until they do progressives can take steps to protect themselves and the country from these crazies.

FAQs or Life's Too Short to Read This Blog

Why should anyone read this blog? I can't think of a good reason.

Why would anyone read this blog? They (1) are married to me and are monitoring my mental health; (2) take pity on me; (3) know I read their blog and feel obliged to check in; (4) realize I am awesome and that I will one day come forth with a nugget of wisdom that will change their lives; (5) secretly agree with me and want validation for our beliefs; (6) are government spies.

Why do you keep blogging when it is obvious that your readership hovers between zero and three? It's not about my readership. It's all about me. My blog is not "monetized", because it would not bring me money. My blog is a means of self expression that I don't have in the real world. Nobody cares about my opinions in the real world (except professional ones, if that). In the blogosphere, I get to put my views out there whether anybody reads them or not. It's therapeutic.

Why don't you comment more on other blogs that you read all the time? If you are a reader of this blog, you will know that I rarely have anything intelligent to say and that words of encouragement from me mean next to nothing.

Why don't you find a schtick and run with it? That smacks of effort.

Why don't you have more pictures? I don't know. Maybe it's the effort thing again.

Why don't you have a picture of yourself in your profile? I am so full of self loathing that I rarely permit my picture to be taken. When I do, I am disappointed that they look like me instead of my image of me as an attractive person.

Why are you so inconsistent in your opinions? Am I? Could I be evolving?

Since most of your posts are inane, why don't you make them shorter? Good point.

Have you ever held back on a blog post for fear of retribution? Yes. Crazy, huh?

Have you ever blogged drunk? Does now count?

Working Without Empathy

Sometimes, when you have enough information about a situation and a person, and if you are reasonably empathetic, you can usually get a pretty good idea about other people's motivations and the needs and concerns that inform their positions. That's how it works for me, at least. If, on the other hand, you are empathically challenged or have insufficient data on which to decide or just can't be bothered to find stuff out, there are some shortcuts.

1. Use defaults such as the one I employ: "Never attribute to evil anything that can be adequately explained by stupidity." This does not apply to GOP pundits or politicians, of course, or to anyone else who has repeatedly overriden the default. Or you might assume ignorance rather than deceitfulness until it becomes apparent that facts don't matter. These defaults work because people are, in fact, more likley to be stupid or ignorant or both than to be outright evil or deceitful. Also, if you are wrong, the error probably won't hurt you as mush as if you assumed evil and deceitfulness when in fact you were dealing with stupidity and ignorance. It's hard to back down from attributions of evil and deceitfulness. "I'm sorry I thought you were evil and deceitful when all along you were just stupid or ignorant."

2. If you are a social retard, do what all social retards do and project your own motives onto others. This won't help you figure anyone else out, but it will let the rest of us know where you're coming from.

3. Pretend that the other person is completely rational and assume that he or she desires all the consequences of their positions or ideas or actions. If Donald Rumsfeld went into Iraq with inadequate forces, it must have been because he intended for there to be security problems after the invasion. That way, the war could be extended indefinitely so as to bolster the administration's use of a war footing to justify all kinds of shit. There was never any intention to end the war and to leave Iraq secure. See what an interesting result you get? That's way more interesting than figuring that Rumsfeld was a big dummy. We all know he wasn't, but that's how he had to play it when folks started to figure out what was going on. What could he say? "I'm not incompetent; I'm evil!"

4. Pretend that the other person is a zombie without self awareness. This works for the religious right, birther types, and Rush Limbaugh/Sean Hannity/other wingnut viewers/listeners. There's really no point in trying to fathom their motives. Why does a sheep go ths way or that way? Ask the shepherd. Just go to their leaders' motives.

5. In the case of journalists (real ones, not FOX, in which case see #4), assume that you are dealing with someone really lazy with a cheap boss. Why is he reporting on this mindless drivel? Why is he regurgitating press releases? He's lazy, and he isn't supposed to spend time and money digging into stories.

These can be real time savers.

Cops Suck

I had an interesting conversation with some of my conspecifics the other day about police misconduct and my view that policing has become increasingly militaristic and hostile. To my surprise, my ally in the discussion was the right wing gun nut. On the other side were several white women 40-60 years of age who reckoned that there were a few bad cops here and there but all and all the police are our friends. I asked one of them "What's the difference between three policemen and three armed muggers?" "I don't know, what?" she replied. "I don't know, either" was the punchline. Ha, ha, ha. Pretty good for an extemporaneous joke, if I say so myself.

I don't reckon any of these ladies has ever had a run in with the police. One of them allowed as how she had seen policemen who were lazy or indifferent or cowardly in the face of a crime, but she had never experienced police oppression. I hope she doesn't get tased.

The best cops are the lazy and indifferent ones, as far as I am concerned. I refer to these as the "good" cops". The active ones are troublemakers who are most likely to get someone killed or maimed. I can't stand those guys.

There are very few cops who follow the model of community policing, who know their beat and the people who live there and who deter crime through their awareness and presence. These guys have lots of informants and helpers in the community because they are trusted. These guys can't get ahead in police departments because they don't put up the numbers. The kind of people recruited by police departments nowadays couldn't follow this model if they tried. They don't have the brainpower or people skills.