Nine Categories of Voters

In thinking about the relationship between cowardice and conservatism, I began to wonder if the degree of cowardice in personalities is normally distributed such that about half the people cluster around an average measurement where they are neither especially timid nor especially bold. On either end of the distribution would be the timids and the braves, each representing about a quarter of the population. Suppose also that intelligence and timidity are independent variables and that level of intelligence is unaffected by or unrelated to degree of timidity. That would mean that the population could be divided up into the following categories:

Stupid and cowardly folks would comprise the solid core constitiuency of the conservative movement. They amount to 6.25% of the population. No effort is needed to frighten them or to misinform them as they are already both extremely anxious and ignorant. They welcome a fascist police state as their only hope for security.

Normal and cowardly folks comprise 12.5% of the population. They are ready to be afraid, and their limited ability for abstract thought makes them prime targets for GOP misinformation. With their stupid and cowardly fellow travellers, they make up the reliable conservative base.

Smart and cowardly folks are 6.25% of the population. They want to be afraid, but they aren't entirely susceptible to right wing propaganda. They need at least a plausible threat and are as apt to direct their fear at conservatives as at any bogeyman the conservatives propose. They are not reliably Republican. At best, half can be counted on to vote Republican.

Stupid and brave folks are another 6.25%. They are not motivated by fear, but they can be duped into almost anything because of their stupidity. They are a wild card and can't be counted on by either side, but about half will end up with the GOP for random and inexplicable reasons.

(This gets us to the solid 25% that the GOP can count on no matter what, the same 25% that approved of GW Bush no matter how big a failure he was. The rest of the categories require the GOP to do some work.)

Normal and brave folks are 12.5% of the population. Fear does not motivate them, but they are not entirely immune to misinformation about other things. They cannot be counted on by the GOP.

Smart and brave folks are another 6.25%. They can't be frightened or fooled. Some of them are evil, however, and will support the GOP for personal gain eg Wall Street moguls.

Stupid and neither brave nor cowardly make up 12.5% of the population. These folks are up for grabs by the GOP because they can be made fearful by taking advantage of their stupidity.

Normal and neither brave nor cowardly is the largest category with 25% of the people. They are the battleground.

Smart and neither brave nor cowardly are 12.5%. They are a hard sell for the GOP without a plausible threat, and you can't fool them forever.

GOP and al Qaeda Depend on Fear

I have read in a couple of places over the last couple of years that people with more fearful personalities tend to be more conservative and, accordingly, to vote for the GOP. People who have more fearless personalities tend to be liberal and to vote for Democrats. Those in the middle are sometimes capable of being frightened enough to tilt them toward GOP candidates.

This is why it sometimes seems that the GOP and al Qaeda are in cahoots. They both want to frighten Americans, so there is a convergence of interests. If al Qaeda did not exist, the GOP would have to invent it. In a sense, the GOP did invent the version of al Qaeda that many of its dupes have bought into, the one where al Qaeda is an existential threat instead of a bunch of yahoos in some caves.

Presidents' Day

On this Presidents' Day, let us consider William Henry Harrison who gave an especially long inaugural address without a hat and who died from illness within a few weeks of taking office. He was one of only a few War Hero Presidents who gained his notoriety by defeating indigenous peoples and who had a catchy nickname: Tippecanoe. Had he lived, it is likley that the course of American history would have been largely unchanged. He also had a grandson who was an equally forgettable President.

My $0.02 on Iran

The regime in control of Iran right now (and their counterparts, the American GOP) is doing all it can to provoke the US into some aggressive and irresponsible action. Internal opposition is a problem for the regime, and it would be helpful for them to be able to rally the Iranian people around a nonexistent external threat. It would also help the American GOP for the hardliners to stay in power in Iran because they need as much instability in the world as possible in order to lend a modicum of credibility to their fearmongering. "Stay scary, Iran," is the GOP mantra. Hmm, that explains a lot of what the Bush/Cheney regime was up to.

Deuteronomy

Deuteronomy begins with a recap, like a new epidode of Lost. We are reminded of the curse that led to 40 years of wandering and given a summary of the various genocidal exploits of the Hebrews as they began to possess the Promised Land. Then, beginning in Chapter 5, Moses lays down the Law.

"Don't have any other gods besides God. Do not make any idols and worship them", Moses tellls the children of Israel. "Don't take the name of God in vain. Observe the Sabbath. Honor your parents. Don't murder, commit adultery or steal. Don't bear false witness. Don't covet. Obey these commandments, says Moses, and you will live and do well in the Promised Land. Moreover, keep these commandments and be ruthless and merciless, and you will possess the Promised Land and prosper.

"When you go into the Promised Land, destroy the religious buildings and cultic places of the people whom you encounter. God will set up a special place where you are to bring your sacrifices and eat before Him. Did I mention that you shouldn't eat blood? Kill anyone who even mentions serving other gods.

"Here's a list of animals you aren't allowed to eat. Be sure to tithe."

As far as I can tell, none of these commandments is directed at me but at the children of Israel. I'm not saying that some of them aren't a great idea, just that Moses wasn't talking to me. I can eat pork and shellfish without offending God, and I don't have to kill anyone.

Belhar Confession

Our pastor has been preaching on the anti-Apartheid Belhar Confession, not because we have a problem with racial segregation (which we probably do in some sense but that's another story) but because of the ideal of unity and reconciliation in general. He pointed to Nelson Mandela as an example of what a spirit of reconciliation can accomplish and to the US federal defense budget of 741 billion dollars as an example of what it costs to live in a world without reconciliation.

We have heard a lot over the years from our pastor about how we shouldn't quarrel about nonessentials and that there are more nonessentials than we might think. So Catholics venerate saints? What does that matter as long as we agree that Jesus is lord and love one another? Sprinkling or dunking; wine or grape juice; transubstantiation or not. None of these are worth being divided over. Sins? Forgiven. Next objection! Political differences? Get real, they're not important from a cosmic perspective and they're not even that profound when you examine them closely with tenderness and humility.

The Belhar Confession goes even further and concludes that we ought as a church to struggle against injustice, that the credibility of our ambassadorship for Christ is impaired if we sit by while injustice is done and say nothing, risk nothing. With all the suffering and injustice in the world, shouldn't we be able to set aside our petty differences and doctrinal squabbles and do something? At least say something?

If the church is silent about the holocaust in eastern Congo, the most horrific example with seven million dead that I can think of, do we not signal our indifference or even our approval of what is going on there? Shouldn't we forget about our differences until this kind of injustice has been addressed? How can we waste ourselves in arguments about the liturgy with those kinds of nightmares going on? There is the work of the kingdom to be done.

E-mail Good; Phone Bad

If it were up to me, I'd do all my work communication via e-mail. E-mail is great because you can get the benefit of prior discussions in the string, relevant documents and materials as attachments, and a message that someone has thought about enough to put down in writing. I like to look at my e-mails first thing in the morning and prioritize them and work off of my in-box. If I can't get to something the same day, I at least acknowledge it with a projected return date.

Occasionally, I'll encounter a dinosaur who insists on using the phone when an e-mail would do. I hate that. I have come to regard non-emergency phone calls or non-privileged calls as the epitome of rudeness. It is like saying DROP EVERYTHING AND ATTEND TO ME NOW BECAUSE I AM MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING ELSE YOU COULD POSSIBLY BE DOING RIGHT NOW. I almost always answer my phone, so it's really a bother when it's something routine. I frequently give people the brush off and make then set up an appointment to call at a set time if they can't e-mail me. I have begun to treat phone calls the same as in person appointments. They are both drains on productivity.

Candlemas Showed Promise

Candlemas has come and gone, and for what it's worth the Crelleach laid in very little wood and the marmot saw his shadow not. That is to say it was overcast on the great day itself. I am going to pretend that this presages an early Spring.

Try Terror Suspects in Court Except When You Don't

At the gym the other day, I saw on the TV that Lindsey Graham was complaining about prosecution of terror suspects in civilian courts. I reckon it's up to the executive to decide whether to use the criminal justice system in particular cases rather than some questionably constitutional military tribunal or even more questionable detention without any kind of a hearing. In the absence of some really compelling reason to forego the criminal justice system, I reckon it would make no sense to do so other then to appease some yahoos in the GOP.

I have heard it argued that terror suspects don't "deserve" constitutional rights. This argument doesn't signify. It ain't about deservin'. We all get constitutional rights whether we deserve them or not. Hell, even imaginary people like corporations get them.

I have also heard it argued that affording terror suspects the rights of accused persons in the criminal justice system makes it harder to get them to cooperate in fighting terrorists. I'm not sure why this would be true as a blanket proposition. The potential terrors of the penal system are a pretty good inducement to cooperation. The government won't be able to torture them or to use the fruits of torture, but that doesn't usually turn up anything useful anyway. If you need a false confession, torture. If you want reliable information and leads, don't.

If Corporations Are People...

In my job, I have helped to dissolve or merge out of existence numerous corporations. Am I guilty of assisting suicide?

Can I marry a corporation (assuming Mrs Vache Folle is out of the picture)? Can I adopt one as my child?

If a corporation is under eighteen, shouldn't it be required to have a guardian?

More Youth as National Security Concerns

While we are training teens for military duty, we should also recognize that other aspects of their health are matters of national security. Accordingly, youngsters should be provided with regular physical examinations free of charge at military entrance and examination stations. Moreover, illnesses and injuries that do not disqualify a youngster for service should be treated at the expense of the DoD. We want potential soldiers to be both fit and healthy when they reach enlistment age.

Since the health and fitness of youth are matters of national security, football playing should be discouraged or even outlawed. The risk of injury is too great, and the benefits of football playing are negligible and can be derived from other less stupid sports. Football could be replaced with the military pentathlon to the benefit of the nation.

Driver training should also be handled by the DoD. Safe handling of vehicles is critical to preserving the health and safety of future soldiers. Also, youth could be trained to operate various military vehicles as a head start on BT.

School lunches could also be handled by DoD as part of the effort to build fitter youth for America's defense.

Train Teenagers as Soldiers

I have been reading and hearing about how new recruits for the armed services are, taken as a whole, in unusually poor physical condition. A lot of effort goes into getting them in sufficient shape to meet minimum fitness standards. I suppose seven hours a day in front of TVs and computers and texting leave little time for exercise.

Arguably, the need for physically fit bullet stoppers makes secondary school physical education a matter of national security. I propose that the DoD take over gym programs in American schools and design and operate them to get youngsters ready for military duty and to keep them that way. Gym teachers would come off school district budgets, and coaches could be used to teach academic courses or drivers ed instead of PE. Let's face it. PE programs have failed to make our youth fit for duty.

Gym teachers would be active duty drill instructors. Over the course of four years of high school, they should be able to get just about every youngster fit.

Everybody wins. Kids get fit whether they become bullet stoppers or not. The armed forces get a pool of recruits that are ready to learn soldiering from day one. Schools get PE programs off their plates.

It may even be possible at some point to include all the training that soldiers get in Basic Training in the program. What soldiers learn in a few weeks of BT could be drilled over and over during four years of high school. That would be good for the armed forces if those trained youth enlist. Moreover, those who do not enlist will be better equipped to serve as the unorganized militia in the event of a national emergency.

Some more advanced youngsters could even opt to take Advanced Individual Training and qualify for a Military Occupational Specialty during high school.

How to Keep the Poor from Breeding so Much

The complaint by South Carolina's less than gentlemanlike lieutenant governor that giveaways to poor people encourage them to breed like "stray animals" leads me to consider what one might do to lower the fertility of poor women if that were one's goal.

Poor women in the US appear to have a higher fertility rate than not so poor women, although this may be skewed by the fact that having children sometimes makes one poor at the same income level that would not qualify as poor for a childfree household. In fact, fertility decreases with affluence with total fertility at just below the replacement rate of 2.1 children per woman. Assuming that the policy goal is to reduce the fertility of the poor, leaving for the later the implications of negative population growth, how might the State of South Carolina go about this?

This could be accomplished by (a) reducing the value of children, and/or (b) increasing the cost of children. Child labor restrictions and other policies render the economic value of children negligible, and it is difficult to imagine how the State of South Carolina could make having children less entertaining and satisfying. Perhaps if the children of the poor were required to attend boarding school away from their parents they would be less fun to have, but the cost of such a solution and its questionable constitutionality argue against it. Accordingly, the State of South Carolina is left with the cost side of the ledger.

Pronatal subsidies such as free public schooling, tax credits and exemptions, AFDC, WIC, and the like reduce the cost of childrearing, albeit at levels that are unlikely to have a significant impact on fertility except at the margins. Poor people reproduced at even higher rates before these programs were in place and continue to do so in countries without such subsidies. It is probably not possible to limit free public schooling to persons of means, but it may be possible to have the same impact by charging school fees while keeping attendance mandatory. Enforcement of such a measure, eg by incarcerating recalcitrant parents, would be costly and interfere with other state goals.

The best way to increase the costs of childrearing would be to increase opportunity costs significantly by ensuring that women actually have meaningful opportunities to forego. Then again, this may well entail wholesale changes to the systems in place in South Carolina that lead to the existing poverty rate and permit the advancement of politicians of the sort who reckon that the reduction of the fertility of the poor is a legitimate goal.

Ways that Poor People are Like Stray Animals

1. Poor people and stray animals did not create the systems in which they find themselves poor and stray.

2. Poor people and stray animals both want our solicitude and mercy.

3. Poor people and stray animals are doubly unfortunate if they find themselves in South Carolina.

4. Poor people and stray animals are both easy targets for the cruel and thoughtless.

Support the Troops

Via Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/13/alexis-hutchinson-single-_n_421729.html comes this story of a US soldier and single mother who is being charged for refusing to deploy for want of care for her child.

I'm thinking that some generous troop-supporting Americans could come forward and help out servicemembers whose child care plans fall through. It would be a lot more supportive than a magnet on their cars. Foster care would not be appropriate since the circumstances do not warrant subjecting the children of deploying servicemembers to the horrors of the child welfare apparatus.

Politics on FaceBook

I've had some hilarious discussions in comment threads on FaceBook with friends of friends. One woman who reckons the Democrats are Marxists and called me crazy for pointing out that some Tea Party Patriots have dodgy connections, wrote that she didn't know enough about the Neo-nazis to decide whether they were too radical for her. Another woman insisted that Obama has never used the word terror or terrorist and, therefore, does not admit that there is a terror threat. A lot of them imagine that voters in Massachusetts elected Republican Scott Brown to the Senate because they are coming around to the thinking of the religious right!

Since I hate both parties (the Republicans slightly more), I have been able to point out to folks just how differently the other side seems to see things. If you get all your news from FOX, you don't know anything. Liberals don't seem to understand how conservatives (ordinary people, not pundits and politicians) view the world and, therefore, misread their motives. I have been surprised in dealling with folks how much they have in common when you get down to their actual views on issues notwithstanding their labels. I have not been surprised at what dupes people are and how they buy talking points hook, line and sinker.

Virginia Coddles Terrorist

Why has the Commonwealth of Virginia chosen to put Christopher Speight through the criminal justice system? (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8471638.stm) The man is a suspected domestic terrorist and should be whisked away to a secret detention center and tortured until he gives up others in his cell.

Massachusetts Hates America, But That's OK

Massholes went and elected a Republican temp for the late Ted Kennedy's Senate seat. I don't reckon this did any harm other than to the reputation of Massachusetts. He'll have to pretend to be not crazy if he wants the seat for a full term, and that will put him in a bad way with the wingnuts.

As for the loss of the filibuster proof 60 vote supermajority, the Democrats never had it. Lieberman was never to be relied on, and there were enough Blue Dogs to do the GOP's job even with 60 votes in the caucus. Maybe this will allow the Democrats to kick Lieberman to the curb where he belongs.

What will come of health care reform? Maybe the House will go ahead and pass the Senate bill and work out the kinks in reconciliation. Maybe it will just die and the process will have to start over. For political fun, I'd like to see the Democrats take a mulligan and let the GOP look obstructionist.

I Know the Father of Jesus

On Saturday evening, Mrs Vache Folle and I went to a production of Jesus Christ Superstar at the Rhinebeck Center for the Performing Arts. It was quite excellent.

We were inspired to go because I am slightly acquainted with the father of the young man playing the role of Jesus Christ.

I mentioned during a conversation with the woman sitting beside me that I knew the father of Jesus. She looked perplexed for a moment and then said "You know God?"

One Spirit

Our church participates in aorganization in the area called Love INC. or Love In the Name of Christ. Love INC represents a pooling of resources from many churches of various denominations to do good works in the community. It is an example of unity, a living out of the exhortation of Paul to be one in the spirit. Our pastor's sermon yesterday had this as its theme. When people see Christians let them see gift givers who are a blessing to the world, not divisive judgmental scolds or the like. Let us be unified in being a blessing to the whole world and set aside our differences over doctrine and how we worship.

When I grew up in the Bible Belt, the call to unity and away from disunity was used to suppress dissent. If you didn't believe and do as you were told and as your spiritual betters did, you were being divisive. And it was only proper that the church should avoid divisive people and make it known that they had no truck with the likes of them.

What a perversion of the ideal of unity to use it to divide.

David Brooks Inspires Another Blog Post

There’s much to criticize in Friday’s OpEd by David Brooks in which her argues that Haitian “culture” is progress resistant and a cause of their poverty. He comes to this conclusion after remarking that Barbados, which was once a slave society, is not so poor. He does not acknowledge the significant differences in the histories and circumstances of Barbadians and Haitians. It can’t be the history of slavery, Brooks impliedly concludes, so it must be something else. It can’t be geography, he argues since the DR is on the same island and not nearly so poor. It must be something about the Haitians themselves. Brooks can’t really come out and say that the Haitians are stupid and shiftless, so he uses the concept of “culture” as cover. Haitians do what appear to Brooks to be stupid and counterproductive things because their “culture” makes them do so. I don’t suppose Haitians are reckoned to have any kind of agency in this analysis.

Brooks does allow that it is worth trying to instill in them bourgeois sensibilities. He praises programs that “are going to replace parts of the local culture with a highly demanding, highly intensive culture of achievement — involving everything from new child-rearing practices to stricter schools to better job performance”. Perhaps it would more efficient simply to send free motivational CDs and CD players to every Haitian to get them in an achieving mood. Does Brooks suppose that Haitians want to be poor and desperate? That they mistakenly cling to a fatalistic mentality and favor short term planning because some memetic virus prevents them from doing otherwise?

The fact is that for most Haitians clinging to hope of achievement would be delusional and would lead to even greater unhappiness. There must be realistic opportunities to achieve before a “culture of achievement” will do any good.

Brooks remarks that Haitians have a great deal of social mistrust. It seems to me that social mistrust is the most rational position under the circumstances. Before social trust will rise, there must be trustworthiness on the part of social institutions.

Haitian immigrants bear witness that Haitians are not so fettered by “culture” as to want re-education. Where opportunities exist, they pursue them. Where institutions are trustworthy, they come to trust them. All this they do without undertaking any fundamental “cultural” shift. They adapt to their circumstances and negotiate their way in the world as they find it.

It is undeniable that ideas and values, cultural facts if you will, may be resistant to progress. The Amish, for example, resist technology. Religious fundamentalists resist modernity. The Amish want to live simply. Fundamentalists want to live in a pre-modern social order. Poor people do not as a rule want to be poor, so it is a mistake to confuse their adaptations to the existential conditions of poverty as cultural constraints on achieving prosperity. They can my no means be said to have eschewed prosperity on the bare basis that they happen to be poor.

Pat Robertson Slanders God Again

I've been hearing how Pat Robertson has been blaspheming again. The earthquake in Haiti? Part of a curse brought down on the Haitians because they sold out to Satan over two hundred years ago. Or maybe it's Divine Wrath on account of gay folks again. Who can fathom the mind of Pat Robertson? Haiti is a place. Haiti, as a state, is an abstraction. Haiti can't sell its soul to the devil because Haiti doesn't have a soul to sell.

Perhaps everything happens for a reason, but it's the pinnacle of arrogance to pretend that you know what those reasons are. Unless you're a prophet. Pat Robertson is no prophet. His utterances are of no value.

Russian Women Want to Date Me

The latest spams that are coming in to my work inbox are purportedly from Russian women who want to date me. They are attracted to me notwithstanding my other spams that suggest that I need my penis enlarged and that I would look more successful with a replica watch.

My 2 Cents on Harry Reid

Folks who think Harry Reid's comments about the electability of Obama were racist don't know what racism is.

Reid spoke the truth. If Obama were darker skinned and talked like Kanye West, he would not have been electable. That's an observation about the electorate and the limits of their racial toleration.

Stream of Consciousness

I set up a Facebook account. It's a little overwhelming getting in touch with so many long lost schoolmates and finding out what became of them. It has set me to thinking how rare it is to make friends later in life like the ones you made in school. I should have kept them better. I should try to be a better friend, or any kind of friend for that matter, to my current acquaintances. I probably won't, though. I'll just continue to be socially phobic and then beat myself up about it from time to time.

I retained a personal trainer at my new gym, and I'm pleased with the help he has given me. I'm doing the Nautilus circuits and cardio on an elliptical machine. My new gym has trainers who set the machines for you, so that takes some time off the workout. I haven't been as often as I would like, but I have been dealing with a severe allergy attack that began when we went to Europe in November and has not let up since.

I consulted an allergist and am scheduled for testing so I can get shots. I am going crazy with the constant sneezing and snot production. It used to be seasonal, but now it's perpetual. People must think I'm a coke head what with all my sniffling and nose blowing. Allergies also trigger my COPD since snot gets in my lungs while I sleep, tiny invisible animals and plants set up housekeeping in the lung snot, and I end up with bronchitis. It's chronic bronchitis because I get it multiple times a year.

Looking back on the treatment I have received over the years for COPD, I am convinced that it was fruitless. It started with a pulmonologist who prescribed steroids and then had me come in at intervals for pulmonary function tests. Of course, when I have bronchitis, my lung capacity is reduced since I can't blow in the machhine without a coughing jag. When I don't have bronchitis or an allergy attack, I breathe much better. Later, my primary doctor put me on allergy pills since he perceived a connection between the allergies and the bronchitis. These were utterly ineffective. No amount of Claritin or Allegra stemmed the flow of snot and sneezing fits I would have from time to time and that I now have all the time. That my doctor never suggested getting allergy treatments is a mystery to me. Anyway, I am hopeful that this new initiative will avail.

I am trying to get up the nerve to get laser surgery for my eyesight. I am very sensitive about stuff touching my eyes so I know I would be terrified during the procedure. Mrs Vache Folle had it done fifteen years ago in Vancouver (it wasn't approved in the US then) and has been elated with the results. She went from near blindness to almost perfect vision overnight. I'm a chicken.

I had to get my eyeglass frame replaced, and I was a little put out to discover that the frames are from the ladies' section. They didn't seem particlularly feminine to me when I bought them, but now I'm just a wee bit self conscious about them. Silly? Yes.

I went to the Bass Outlet and stocked up on sweaters. They were hugely discounted.

Conservative Criticism of Avatar Says More About Conservatives

The LA Times explores conservative criticism of the movie Avatar: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/the_big_picture/2010/01/avatar-why-do-conservatives-hate-the-most-popular-movie-in-years.html Having just seen the movie, I have one question for its conservative critics: project much?

One of the main critiques seems to have been that it portrays the American military in a bad light and asks audiences to root for American forces to be killed by insurgents. The human forces in Avatar are security contractors retained by a corporation. They don't have the benefit of being deluded into believing or pretending to believe that they kill and destroy for a higher purpose. They are straight up hired guns who do what they do for money and nothing else. They will kill or destroy without a second thought because they are professional killers. Is that how conservatives see the American military? Shame on them if they equate the mercenaries in Avatar with American military forces. Presumably, our soldiers are a lot less like the hired killers than the Marine who takes them on because he knows what is right and fights for a higher cause. At least they have been led to believe that they fight for some higher cause.

Another critique is that the film is anti-human/antiAmerican. If conservatives equate America with the evil corporation in Avatar, then it is no surprise that they hate America. Moreover, the hero of the movie is a human played by an Australian actor pretending to be an American ex-Marine. Humans lead the aborigines to victory. Human conscience thwarts the dehumanized corporate interests and the dehumanized minions of the corporation.

The movie is seen as anti-corporation. It's certainly anti the evil corporation in the story. Do conservatives equate all corporations with the lawless juggernaut portrayed in the film? Do they admire evil?

The movie portrays the aborigines as being extremely in tune with nature. Well, in this story, as it turns out, the natives are in tune with nature. The planet Pandora is, in fact, a living entity with connections to every living thing. The plants and animals commune with one another through some strange organ and are, in point of fact, connected. So they have evolved in this imaginary world, and so it is perfectly sensible for them to acknowledge the connectedness. Far from being soft headed environmentalism, it is a necessity for survival.

Conservatives seem to be mystified that such a story resonates with the public. David Brooks http://www.twincities.com/opinion/ci_14164941 claims that the movie is a retelling of the "White Messiah" story akin to Dances With Woves, A Man Called Horse and such movies. I reckon he is off the mark. These stories aren't about the simple natives' wanting rescue by a superior white man but about the "civilized" stranger's wanting transformation and reconnection with his humanity. The white stranger is not a messiah but an archetypal hero who regains from the natives his lost soul. The tale resonates with us because many of us in the subaltern classes feel as if we are being steamrolled by impersonal dehumanizing forces, and we yearn for a missing sense of community, connection and a purpose greater than profit. We imagine a simpler, richer life and populate this imaginary realm with a romanticized ideal of premodern societies. That actual premodern societies fail to approach this romantic ideal is of no consequence since we are in the realm of myth. Also, I don't reckon the romantic notion of premoderns has done any more harm than the old way of thinking of them as subhuman savages. I don't doubt that conservatives miss referring to premoderns as subhuman.

Anyway, Avatar was a lot of fun, and if conservatives can't enjoy it, that's because they don't approve of enjoyment in any event.

Worst Anarchist Ever

Mrs Vache Folle reckons that I am the worst anarchist ever. This is because I always come to a full stop at every stop sign, even when it is clear that I can get away with a roll through without endangering anyone. Moreover, I observe the traffic laws scrupulously and can't stand even to park illegally or violate even the slightest regulation or ordinance. I'm also not a faithful anti-state ranter. I have been known to vote and to contribute to political campaigns.

And I haven't been posting much about how evil the state is and how we should work tirelessly to bring about a stateless society. I just don't have the heart for it. We live in a world of states, and states are likely going to be around for many generations to come. I'm not even sure that a stateless society would necessarily be as great as I used to think given the depraved state of mankind at present.

I have come to the point where I reckon that railing against the existence of the state or the concept of the state is fruitless. Rather, I have decided to be content with advocating the idea of dealing with the state, using the state, serving the state, and talking about the state mindfully. It would do some good I think to take the concept of the state, work to remove it from the existential substrate, and problematize it in the context of mainstream discourse about politics and policy. For the most part, the concept of the state and the the propriety of government action are givens which are rarely deconstructed and given any consideration in political discourse. I would like to see more instances of having the violent and coercive nature of the state exposed and discussed in discourse about current events and issues. If we are determined to resort in the first instance to violence and coercion, then by all means let us do so mindfully.

And if I live subject to a state and have some influence, however slight, over how it rules over me, I ought to be able to state opinions without being assumed to have abandoned my skepticism about whether state action was warranted, wise or moral in the first place. If we are determined to act through states, I am determined to opine about alternative courses of action.

If I must be ruled by a state, and it appears that I must, I am determined to raise the alarm whenever it appears that the authoritarian nutcase wing of the GOP gets any more control of that state. It may seem at times that I have become a partisan of the Democratic Party, and this is true to the extent that I believe that the Democratic Party is significantly less likely to get us all killed or to bring about an authoritarian shift than the GOP.

As....as a ....

I commented to a conspecific the other day that I felt as happy as a lark, to which he replied "What's a lark?" "It's a bird," said I. "Is it especially happy?" asked he. "It is supposed to be the epitome of happiness, but I don't know why."

It comes to me that I frequently use expressions of this sort without any idea as to whether they are in any wise apt. "Drunk as a lord" comes to mind. Are peers of the realm more apt to be drunk than other ranks? I have no experience to guide me.

"Naked as a jaybird" is another. Why a jay? Jays are no more naked than other birds, so why are they singled out as the standard of nakedness?

Other expressions make sense. "Dumb as a rock" is pretty dumb inasmuch as rocks are inanimate objects. I have also heard "hammer" used. I suppose that it would be fun to mix up the objects from time to time, as in "he's as dumb as a stapler" or a "spatula". Inanimate objects, particularly "doornails", also stand in for deadness. Would "dead as a rock" and "dumb as a doornail" work? They don't sound right for some reason.

"Hills" are evidently quite old, but I reckon there are older things, eg the moon, and things that are old enough to make a point without being as old as the hills, eg redwood trees. If the hills are old, the valleys are equally so.

"Pictures" are said to be pretty, but I reckon it depends on what is being pictured and the skill of the artist.

"Birds" are free. So are other wild animals. Why not "free as a squirrel"?

"Houses" are big. So are other buildings. So are tractor trailers.

Choosing to Believe

Yesterday in the sermon, our pastor mentioned that he had been reading some of the recent books by atheists in connection with some discussions he has been having with a skeptic. Since, I've read these books as well and have been following the discussion, I engaged the pastor after church and remarked that it seemed to me to be a mistake to defend faith via reason (not that he was doing this). I pointed out that the movie Religiosity had some good examples of how stupid religious people sound when they try to reason with nonbelievers about irrational religious beliefs. We agreed that religion was not about reason but about faith. I remarked that it was a matter of belief, and he said something about "choosing to believe" before he had to kibbitz with other coreligionists.

I was sorely perplexed by this, and I can't think for the life of me what the preacher meant. Belief, as far as I know, is involuntary. Either I believe something or I don't. I cannot choose what I believe or disbelieve, and if I just pretend to believe in something, that doesn't really count as belief, does it? For me, belief is a gift with which I have been blessed. I didn't just decide one day to believe in Jesus; rather, I discovered that I had come to believe in Him.

In the sermon, the pastor remarked on the hopelessness of the atheistic worldview as he has done before. I am reluctant to project this on atheists. Many of them seem quite hopeful and seem to have a pretty good moral foundation and outlook on the world. They seem reconciled to the universe as it is to them and resigned to it, and this is in many ways similar to the attitude of believers who have aligned their will with that of God and resigned themselves to whatever happens as a manifestation of that will.

Bad Day? No way.

Today has the makings of a bad day, but I aim to make the best of it. It's snowing like hell, and I have a massive sinus headache and excited snot production. Mrs Vache Folle took the 4 wheel drive to a facial, so I'm pretty much stuck and had to resechedule my gym orientation session.

My gym finally went belly up, this time for good it seems since there is a new outfit, a tennis club, in the facility, so I have had to join a new one. It's way better in terms of facilities but much busier (also less likely to go out of business).

Maybe I'll play in the snow and throw snowballs at the dogs for a while. That'll cheer me up.

I haven't broken any resolutions yet, but I haven't fulfilled any that want fulfilling.

Bush in League with AQ?

The Bush Regime, over the objections of the military, released certain detainees from Guantanamo. Some of them went on to leadership in the Al Qaeda franchise in Yemen, and they appear to have been behind the Underwear Bomber's attempt to bring down an airliner.

Is it wrong to jump to the conclusion that the Bush Regime was somehow in league with Al Qaeda? Or should we just chalk this up to monumental incompetence? Sadly, either explanation is plausible.

What David Brooks Wrote

I don't often agree with David Brooks, but his op-ed in the morning paper was partly right: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/01/opinion/01brooks.html?ref=todayspaper

Brooks opines that Americans have unrealistic expectations about the ability of the security apparatus to thwart terrorist attacks.

Brooks writes:

"Much of the criticism has been contemptuous and hysterical. Various experts have gathered bits of Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab’s biography. Since they can string the facts together to accurately predict the past, they thunder, the intelligence services should have been able to connect the dots to predict the future."

It seems to me that crtics expect a level of omniscience on the part of the intelligence and security apparatus that is not attainable at a reasonable cost in either governmental resources or inconvenience to the public. There is, I contend, no perfect security. States should strive for an optimal level of security that has reasonable costs and thwarts or deters most terroristic endeavors. If the public cries out for more than this, states should try give them the appearance of security that the TSA has become famous for rather than trying to fill in the unfillable gaps.

Brooks goes on:

"In a mature nation, President Obama could go on TV and say, 'Listen, we’re doing the best we can, but some terrorists are bound to get through.'"

We are to Brooks seemingly a nation of bedwetters now of which our forebears would be ashamed. I disagree and suspect that this appearance is a function of the noise that comes from government and cable TeeVee as various self interested individuals and entities strive to exploit the recent failed terror attack for political or financial advantage. Individual Americans appear to me to be much more pragamatic and far less hysterical about the incident than their would be leaders. They are still flying on airliners and going about their business. Security is less of a concern to them than the economy at this point, and that is a rational prioritization of anxieties. I hope that the pundits and politicians fail to frighten us into a state of paranoia where we forget our own best interests.

After all, we have had eight years of this nonsense to become inoculated. The fearmongers may find, I hope, that they are one trick ponies and that the public is on to them. They may perhaps be described as the Norm Charltons of the noise machine.

The fearmongers appear to assume that the public does not remember the Shoe Bomber. How indeed could we forget since we memorialize the event by ritually removing our shoes before we pass through airport security? Any critique of the Underwear Bomber incident and its handling applies to the Shoe Bomber incident and its handling in equal measure. We are not so stupid as to fail to recognize this.

The fearmongers, in mongering fear (may they be confounded), aid and abet the terroristic enterprise in that they are working to inspire the very fear that the Underwear Bomber failed to incite. Shame on them. Shame on us doubly if we are fooled again.

Be It Resolved That...

I cuss less this year, including lightening up on the use of noncussword substitutes like sockcucker and fothermucker.

I see an allergist and take care of the allergies that are at the core of many of my health issues. Appointment is set for 1/12/10.

I become a teetotaler for a while and let my crazy bills do their work.

I eat more fiber and less red meat.

I exercise more.

I watch less TeeVee.

I do something cultural at least once a month, eg theatre, opera, ballet, museum.

I get laser surgery on my eyes and get rid of my specs and contacts..

I get involved in some kind of service to my conspecifics.

Profiling

I heard douchenozzle Congresscritter Peter King advocating "profiling" over the weekend. He meant ethnic or racial profiling and lamented that "political correctness" stood in the way. Actually, it's the utter ineffectiveness of that kind of profiling that stands in the way of its being deployed.

Besides, what categories of people should be subject to extra scrutiny to deter terrorism? Irishmen and Roman Catholics of all nationalities since the Oklahoma City bomber and the abortion clinic bombers were Catholic and because members of the IRA were Irish? Nigerians and, since Nigerians don't look much different from other Africans, other Africans? Swarthy Arabian or South Asian looking folks and anyione who looks like them such as Israelites and some Hispanics? Basques and anyine who looks Basque, i.e. Europeans and those of European descent?

I guess the Chinese, Japanese and Koreans needn't be looked at too carefully. Everyone else will get enhanced security and surveillance.

Profiling, to work, has to be predicated on meaningful characteristics, not on race or ethnicity. The proportion of malefactors of a particular race or ethnicity to the total membership in the category is so miniscule that race and ethnicity are useless for profiling.

Anniversary

Twenty six years ago on this date, Mrs Vache Folle, who was not then so named, and I exchanged wedding vows and became recognized as a marital unit under the laws of the District of Columbia. We wed in a small ceremony at the Kay Spiritual Center on the campus of The American University where we were both students.

Mrs VF's Aunt Dorothy played the organ, and her recently divorced parents stood up with us. A Baptist chaplain did the honors. We had a party at my house after the ceremony which my Milanese friend Michael catered. That night we stayed at a hotel downtown and had prime rib at Blackie's House o' Beef. The next day we bought furniture for our marital apartment on Capitol Hill.

Since then we have had many adventures. Mrs VF is my best friend. She is even more beautiful now than the day we married.

Top Ten Events of the Aughts

Our Carpathian Shepherd, Jesse Lou Baggett, who had been living for several years in a park in Yonkers, was struck by a car and subsequently became our domestic dog, at the time our fourth dog.

I left grad school and returned to professional life as an in house corporate tool.

Our blue-eyed red dog, Trudy, died peacefully at home.

Cassidy, one of our pair of beagle mix siblings, passed away at the age of 15.

We adopted William Jasper Stone, Salopian Terrier, from the Yonkers Animal Shelter.

The other beagle mix, Sunny, passed away at age 16.

We bought our house in Stormville.

We joined the Hopewell Reformed Church.

I was laid off from my job and retained as a consultant.

Mrs Vache Folle's company closed and she got a new job with a giant douche for a boss.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!

The Christmas Eve services went well and were enjoyable. The sermon was mercifully brief, an early Christmas gift to the congregation. As usual, it was aimed at the many visitors and occasional attendees who come to church only on Christmas Eve and perhaps on Easter and Good Friday. As we prepared to sing Silent Night and light candles, the first assistant preacher, the prophetic one, harshed our mellow a little bit by insisting that we remember those who will wake on Christmas morning to spiritual darkness. The choir enjoyed fellowship between the services at a supper of grits and shrimp provided by my fellow tenor, an expat Carolinian.

Now it's Christmas morning, and Mrs Vache Folle and I have enjoyed a leisurely breakfast with the newspaper. At present, she is baking a cake to take to Christmas dinner with friends. Songbirds are swarming the feeder outside the picture window by the kitchen, and the dogs are on the lookout for critters to chase. The world is blanketed in snow from last weekend's storm. I am truly blessed.

This and That

How will health care reform affect me? I don't have the slightest idea. I have been receiving lots of e-mails assuring me that the legislation, while not everything progressives might have wanted, still represents substantial progress, whatever that means.

Another economic indicator that we are still in a crunch is the continuing paucity of corporate gifts that we have gotten from vendors this year. Where are the tubs of caramel popcorn and the ethnic goodies from around the country? It's not fair.

The choir party came off well. We changed the time to 3 pm to beat the storm, and the turnout was great. Mrs Vache Folle picked up a tray of mei fun, and I got deli stuff and alcohol. Our guests brought appetizers and desserts, all of which were eaten. I have been having mei fun and deli sandwiches for every meal since Saturday. And beer.

I enjoyed the show Sing-Off in its brief run. Eight very talented a capella groups competed for prize money and a record contract. They also collaborated, which was fun to see. The judges were positive and constructive in their criticism and didn't try to make the show about themselves. I hope that the show continues and inspires a resurgence of a capella singing.

The choir's Christmas Eve program has really come together (good thing since Christmas Eve is tomorrow).

Senate Sucks

The way I read the Constitution, we can't amend it to abolish the Senate. But we should be able to curtail its role. I propose a constitutional amendment to limit the Senate to voting up or down on bills generated by the House of Representatives. There wouldn't be any Senate versions or amendments or reconciliation process, just yea or nay on the bills.

Also, as Robin Williams has suggested, Senators should wear jackets with the logos of the special interests who own them just like NASCAR drivers.

Blizzard's a-comin'

I have been informed by the National Weather Service that a blizzard is on the way to Southern New York. Best case scenario for this storm is that it will swing eastward and drop only a dusting of snow on us in the Hudson Valley while devastating Long Island and New York City. I'd really like to see Connecticut get it big time as divine punsishment for Joe Lieberman. Dutchess County isn't even in the weather warning area, so there's hope for a mild impact.

The good news is that because of the party we are hosting I stocked up on liquor and beer and food and Duraflame logs. Duraflame's long lasting fire logs are the hassle free way to enjoy a toasty fire. Ask for Duraflame by name.

Assuming the party goes off as planned, it is traditional to have a white elephant gift exchange. Everyone brings a wrapped present and then draws a number from a hat. The fortunate number drawer chooses a present. Subsequent drawers choose a present but are entitiled to compel any earlier drawer to trade. Some of the gifts are nice, but most are tacky knick knacks and bric a brac some of which have been passed around the choir at Christmas parties for decades. Folks try to outdo themselves with undesirable presents. We're supplying a couple of decent gifts as hosts and some extras for guests who show up empty handed.

Obama Disappoints

Wanda Sykes nicely summed up the way a lot of folks feel about Barack Obama. He's like a beautifully wrapped present that when you open it turns out to be a three pack of underwear.

I was hoping he'd be more effective. He needs to be more assertive and combative. I'd sack his whole staff and get some new blood if I were in charge and if I gave a damn.

I give only a half a damn because I like to keep my eyes open a little in case the wingnuts look as if they might get power. I would have loved for Obama to have nailed the coffin shut on the right, but he has insisted on treating them as if they had legitimate issues.

Numbers

I finished Numbers in my rereading of the Bible. As far as I can tell nothing in the whole book pertains to me or to anyone other than the ancient Israelites. A lot of it involves preparation for life in the Promised Land (what to do with manslayers and blood avengers, for example) and provisions for the Levites. So far, the first few books of the Bible have been interesting but not especially instructive. Perhaps Deuteronomy will be different.

Christmas Spirit

Mrs Vache Folle and I have really gotten the Christmas Spirit. No, we haven't done anything nice for anyone or anything like that, but we have decorated our house with lights and garlands and wreaths and such like. I aim to put some lights on the little evergreens outside if it ever stops raining or snowing long enough.

It's time to see some Christmas movies. My favorites include the following:

Four Christmases with Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon is now on my list of classics. Yuppie couple usually gets away for the holidays is forced to visit their four horrible families (their folks are divorced) to great comedic effect.

A Christmas Carol, the one from the 30s with Alistair Sims or the one with Captain Picard, is my favorite. I hate all other versions, especially Mr Magoo's performance.

It's a Wonderful LIfe has been a long time favorite of mine. I always weep when George's brother toasts him as the "richest man in town". It used to run a dozen times every December, but it has been supplanted by that movie about the kid and the BB gun.

Bad Santa.

But Christmas is not just about movies. It's also about TV specials. My favorites include:

The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, the animated one not the live action film. Are the Whos of Whoville the same as the ones that Horton heard when he heard a Who? If so, what conditions give rise to the appearance of snow on such a tiny scale?

Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer. I always identified with the misfits.

A Charlie Brown Christmas.

Tiger's Tastes Pathological? I Doubt It.

On occasion, I'll check out Inside Edition to get a glimpse of my high school classmate Debbie Norville. Yesterday, I was stringing some lights while IE was on in the background and blathering on and on about Tiger Woods. At one point, a black pundit, whose name I didn't get, came on and opined that Tiger was attracted to white women because he had low self esteem and was a self loathing black man. Presumably, any black man's attraction to white women was pathological in this man's eyes.

Could it be that going for Swedish bikini models and that type is just the way Tiger rolls? I reckon we all like what we like because we like it and that we don't really choose what attracts us. Tiger's old man must have liked Thai women since he married one and begat Tiger with her. Maybe Tiger should be attracted to Thai women or Asian women in general since he is as much Asian as he is African American. He also has some European and Amerind heritage, or so he claims. Should he seek out Amerind women out of loyalty to his race?

Then again, I don't have any idea what's it like to be black. Maybe some black men set aside their strong attraction for black women and take up with white women who disgust them or to whom they are indifferent for weird reasons having to do with self loathing. Who's to say, though? Every interracial couple I have ever known seemed to enjoy mutual atttraction.

Snow

It has dumped snow twice in the last week. Here's what I hate about snow:

1. We have to pay the plow guy.
2. I have to shovel the crap off the walk.
3. It melts a bit and refreezes so the dogs can't walk on it. (Neither can I).
4. There's salt on the road and it hurts the dogs' feet.
5. It takes longer to commute.
6. It is dangerous to commute.
7. It is dangerous to go to the mailbox.
8. The dog poop ferments under it and leaves a big mess when the snow melts.
9. I can't jog without falling on my ass.

Here's what I like about snow:

1. It's pretty.
2. The wildlife is more visible.
3. It reflects the moonlight and makes it seem less dark.
4. It gives folks something to talk about.
5. I have an excuse not to jog.
6. I have an excuse not to walk the dogs in the freezing cold.
7. It's obviously not "too cold to snow".

Surviving the Solstice

Mrs Vache Folle made a pretty good observation the other day while we were watching a TV program about folks who go crazy with their Christmas lights. She reckoned that the lights are a way of fighting the darkness that is most profound around the winter solstice. Moreover, the activity of setting up the lights and keeping Christmas is a way of fending off depression.

Mrs VF reckoned that societies with winter would tend to have holidays around the winter solstice to get them through the darkest days without killing themselves. Folks kill themselves around the time of the solstice because of the hopelessness and darkness, and the holidays are meant to get them through it. If they kept Christmas better (or the other holidays) they could get through the season alive.

Look at the way we celebrate Advent. We tell ourselves to have hope, to know peace, to be joyful, and to celebrate the light. If we didn't do this, we'd be confronted with despair, anger, depression and darkness. Seriously, the winter solstice sucks.

We're hosting the choir party this year, so for the first time in years we are actually decorating our house and putting up lights. Or we will when I get around to it. The snow has set me back a bit. I have to keep reminding myself about how beautiful the snow is and to put my feelings that it is a big honking pain in the ass aside.

War on the War on Christmas

It's time for my annual etiquette lesson to the Christmas Warriors. If someone wishes you Happy Holidays, you're supposed to smile and reciprocate, not be a giant douche and berate them for not saying exactly what you think they should have said.

At this moment, and until something like December 24th, it doesn't make sense to wish anyone "Merry Christmas" unless you are deliberately trying to be niggardly with your blessing. After all, there's the whole holiday of Advent in which to be merry and Christmas Eve and then Boxing Day and Epiphany and New Years. So saying Merry Christmas is akin to saying "enjoy December 25th but none of the days leading up to it and none of the following days".

Tickled to Death

I, for one, reckon that being tickled to death would be something to avoid. It is preferable I suppose to being burned to death or buried alive, but it would still be a bad thing. Yet, it is often said that we would be tickled to death in connotations that imply that such a state of affairs would be welcomed. "I'd be tickled to death if you could help with conference" means that such help is welcomed not that the speaker supposes that such help would be like being tickled until dead.

I'm not sure that it is even possible to tickle a person to death. I surmise that at some point the nerve endings that send the tickle sensation to the brain would cease to fire and that continued contact would no longer tickle long before death. Moreover, tickling does not, as far as I can tell, cause any actual injury to the tickled person.

If it were possible to tickle someone to death, I imagine that there would be warnings about tickling babies.

Out of Afghanistan

What the hell is the military activity in Afghanistan all about? Wouldn't it be ironic if we had the Russians send in troops to help us secure that country?

One of my Republican conspecifics the other day assured me that the US cannot leave Afghanistan because (a) it would leave a vacuum for terrorists to take over, and (b) it would be expensive to remobilize in case of another attack on America. I don't reckon that these arguments suffice to justify the financial costs of the war there let alone the moral costs.

For the life of me, I can now no longer recall why it was ever considered a good idea to invade Afghanistan. Perhaps it was deemed politically expedient to appear to be doing something in response to the attack on the World Trade Center, but the invasion of Afghanistan, a state which did not carry out or sponsor the attack, was a boneheaded move.

Let's look at some of the reasons I have heard for invading Afghanistan.

1. Terrorists trained there. They also train in Idaho and Pakistan and a thousand other places around the world. Does that we mean we should overthrow every government that is unable to insure that terrorists don't train in their territories and then occupy those states? Wouldn't it make more sense to assist those governments in rooting out terrorist training camps or, if they were uncooperative, to target or surveill the terrorist training camps themselves?

2. They hate us. Lots of people hate us, espceially folks whose countries we have invaded and occupied. The WTC attackers were mostly Saudi Arabians, and lots of Saudis hate America. Should we invade Saudi Arabia and occupy it?

3. It is unstable there and is apt to become a breeding ground for extremists. It was already a breeding ground for extremists when we invaded, and the invasion didn't make things better. We don't have enough troops or money to stabilize the place if they can't stabilize it themselves, and the invasion and occupation fuels anti-American sentiments and Islamic extremism. We didn't give a crap about the stability of Afghanistan when we were engaged in proxy war there with the Soviets during the Reagan/Bush era, so why do we care now?

4. Pulling out will make us look weak. We're not weak by any account, and staying in makes us look stupid, which we may very well be.

We will never be able to afford to turn Afghanistan into Vermont. Hell, we probably can't even bring it up to the level of Texas. The US should get the hell out of Afghanistan.

Our Vacation

We arrived in Barcelona around noon on Friday the 13th and were delighted to find that our hotel, the Montblanc, was located in the heart of the "Gothic" district. Over the nexty two days we strolled up and down La Rambla, the pedestrian plaza that extends from the Catalonian Plaza to the waterfront. We had tapas and wine, and watched the people on their constitutionals. We gravitated eevery so often to the Mercata de Boqueria where we bought food and candy from the vendors' stalls and gaped at the bounty on sale.

We took a tour bus to Sagrada Famillia the cathedral designed by Gaudi. It looked to me as if it had been designed by Dr Seuss. We visited a famous garden also designed by Gaudi. We visited, among other things, the Picasso Museum, the Chocolate Museum, and the Aquarium. The Picasso Museum featured pieces from Picasso's own collection of Japanese erotic art with examples of their influence on him. Mrs Vache Folle surmised that the art was done by men since the penises were drawn all out of proportion to what occurs in nature, especially for Japanese men (as if Mrs Vache Folle would know anything about Asian men's penises). The Chocolate Museum was devoted to exploring the heritage of Barcelona as the gateway for chocolate into Europe from the New World. Back in the day, ten cocoa beans would buy a rabbit or a prostitute, and 100 would buy a slave.

On our quest to find the Picasso Museum we found a wonderful little restaurant in the back alleys: Economico.

On Sunday the 15th, we boarded the Norwegian Gem in the harbor. I got a bizarre seaweed wrap, steam, massage treatment and settled into cruising mode. Monday the 16th was at sea as we steamed for Malta. The weather, which was supposed to have been in the fifties and rainy, was sunny and in the seventies, so our gamble on the off season paid off.

We arrived in Valetta, Malta on the morning of Tuesday the 17th. We took a tour to the old city of Mdina and then back to Valetta where we visited various sites related to the Knights of St John Hospitaler. It was amazing how much survived the bombing in World War II. The churches were beautiful. We leaned that Maltese is a Semitic language and that the Maltese reckon that the Apostle Paul was shipwrecked on the island. It must be so because St Paul appeared on horseback in the sixteenth century to help repel the Turks. He wouldn't have done that for just any old island.

From Malta, we went on the Naples. We visited Pompeii and were surprised to find that the site is a whole ginormous city. We also went to Sorrento and Capri and visited a cameo production facility along the way.

Next stop was Rome which, although it was not built in a day, we had to see it in a day. We visited the Forum and the Colisseum and St Peter's. We were told that St Peter's is the biggest church in the world, but I reckon they weren't counting monstrous megachurches that aren't Catholic.

We then went to Florence where I was cursed by a gypsy hag on the Pontevecchio. She was begging for change, and I reached in my pocket and gave her what I had. It turned out to be 11 cents, and she was offended by my gift. She began giving me raspberries and following me around screaming in her gypsy lingo. I assumed I was being cursed. I did get the flu a few days later. We had a lot of free time in Florence. One of our fellow tourists, a Virginian complained that he reckoned Florence was "just a dirty old town". I thought Florence was the coolest place we had been to. Mrs Vache Folle bought a handbag at an open air market. I got gelato, as I did every chance I got in Italy.

Then we went to Cannes. Mrs Vache Folle and I didn't book any excursions, and we just walked around and had lunch and sipped beaujolais (it had just arrived). We felt very cosmopolitan.

Then it was back to Barcelona to catch a plane to Newark. We didn't see much of Newark as it was late at night when we arrived.

Our travels lead me to question why anyone would ever leave Italy.

I'm Tiger Woods!

I have never had sex with Tiger Woods. Folks should just quit speculating about this and move on. Even if I did have sex with Tiger Woods, it wouldn't be anybody's business but mine and Tiger's and Tiger's old lady and my old lady (neither of whom were present when Tiger and I were not having sex). I'm not promising that I'd never, under any circumstances, have sex with Tiger Woods; I'm just saying that it hasn't happened...yet.

Do I think worse of Tiger for getting lots of tail on top of being young, attractive (I'm told), married to a Swedish bikini model and rich as Croesus? No, my envy level topped out years ago.

Does Tiger Woods' philandering make him less valuable as a role model? Certainly not, unless you want your kids growing up thinking it's a good idea to pass on sex with hot women who throw themselves at you even when you have a hot Swedish bikini model at home.

Will I buy less Nike crap because of Tiger's scandal? I could not buy less Nike stuff unless I stole Nike products and sold them back to the store.

Midianite Mini-Holocaust

In Numbers, there's an interesting episode involving the genocide of the Midianites. Some of the Israelites covet the land of the Midianites since it is especially good for livestock, and they decide to take it even though it is not part of the so called Promised Land. They promise to fight for the Promised Land when the time comes, but they aim to live in the land of the Midianites. To this end, they attack the Midianites and kill all the adult men and take all the women and children captive. The Israelite leadership chastises them and requires them to kill every male child and every female that has ever had sex. Only virgin females are to be spared.

Evidently, at one time genocide was an approved policy of the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel. Perhaps it was even a method God employed to work His will in the world. I suppose it made rational sense if you wanted to be sure no Midianite was around to exact vengeance and if you aimed to rid yourself of alien cultural influences, but it doesn't seem right when judged by our modern moral sensibilities. The authors of Numbers seem downright proud of the slaughter of the Midianites.

I sometimes hear it said that God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. I'm hoping He has dropped genocide from His list of approved activities and that He is not the same as the God of Numbers, if He ever was..

I Don't Know If I Believe in Belief

I am the resurrection and the life. He that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live. And whosover liveth and believeth in me shall never die.

These propositions, purportedly uttered by Jesus, seem unequivocal. Believers who are dead will live again, and believers who are alive will live on forever. But it can't possibly have its plain meaning, can it? So far, everyone born before 1890, believers and unbelievers alike, has died. Does this mean that there were no real believers? Or does it mean that Jesus was speaking figuratively? Why did he distinguish between the living and the dead if there were no difference between the two states in terms of destiny?

I confess that this passage sometimes disturbs me as much as it comforts me. I don't even know what to make of the requirement that we "believe" in Jesus. What does "belief" entail? Is it the satisfaction of the old epistemological itch? If so, what specific propositions are we minimally supposed to believe in order to be saved? Is it belief in the form of "trust" that we are supposed to have?

I am not even sure that any of us has "beliefs" except as useful fictions to explain and predict the behavior of others and ourselves. There may not actually be brain states that can be identified as "belief in Jesus" or any beliefs for that matter. Beliefs are supposed by folk psychologists to inform behavior and to serve as part of the explanation for what people have done and will do. Someone who can be said to "believe in Jesus" would certainly manifest a set of behaviors that was extraordinary and unlike those of ordinary men, wouldn't he?

Or is it enough simply to profess belief, especially where the object of belief is relatively far removed from everyday experience? One might announce quite sincerely that one believes that there is intelligent life on other planets without showing any behavioral manifestations of such a belief. Likewise, one may make all manner of theological assertions that can have no bearing whatsoever on how one lives, eg various conceptions of the trinity. How easily then might we profess Jesus as our Lord and Savior and then go about our business as if this profession meant nothing much in terms of our actions. Perhaps we should consider whether many of our beliefs are really more in the nature of "opinions".

I am thinking mainly of myself and the feebleness with which I live the teachings of Jesus. Perhaps I am too hard on myself. If we have beliefs or opinions, we do not choose them. They happen to us. If God wills me to believe harder and to manifest my beliefs more radically, it will happen. Meanwhile, it is perhaps ingratitude for the belief that I believe that I have that leads me to whine about not believing better than I do, assuming that I have beliefs in the first place.

I am going to characterize the whole issue of "belief" as a mystery and worry about it later. The same goes for the "never die" thing.

Where Have I Been?

I was in Europe for a while, then I got the flu (the regular kind, not swine) and was laid up in bed for a while. Now I'm home and better and full of ideas for blog posts.

Meanwhile, I have often heard it said by world travellers (which in British Airways lingo means "coach", by the way) that the US of A is the best place in the whole world to live. They must not have been to Barcelona.

From Whence Do Rights Derive?

What gives me the right to express my stupid opinions on this blog? My right derives from the fact that neither the state nor anyone else with the ability to do anything about it gives a rat's patootie about my opinion or whether and how I express it. The state does not at present have any particular interest in my speech acts. Why would it? I can't really do the state any harm, and it may even score legitimacy points by ignoring me, especially in the case of states such as mine that claim to protect their subjects' freedom.

Other folks who might disagree with me don't care enough about it to try to punish me for my opinions. Part of this stems from my use of a nom de blogge. It isn't as easy to mess with me if you don't know who I really am. Besides, interference by a private individual or entity probably wouldn't be considered as a violation of my "rights". We have come to think of rights as deriving from the Constitution and applying only to state action. If I had some God given inalienable rights, wouldn't I be able to defend them against all comers, state and non-state actors alike?

Whatever rights I have I enjoy at the sufferance of my conspecifics.

Aspects of Popular Culture That I Just Don't Get

Vampires. Kids want to be vampires or date vampires. Vampirism seems like it would be a huge disability what with not being able to eat anything but blood or to come out in the daylight. Believe me kids, you'll know enough toxic psychic vampires in your life without wishing to meet some mythical ones.

Flavored martinis (except as starter drinks for junior high schoolers). These are nothing like actual martinis and are far removed from the martini experience. After age 25, these should not be permitted. Men of any age should never order these. These are girlie drinks.

Kardashians. Why do I have to know who these people are?

Shredded jeans. In my day, shredded jeans meant you were trash. Decent folks would patch the holes in their jeans.

Facebook. I spend enough time in front of a computer without corresponding with my long lost grammar school classmates.

2012. What makes anyone think the Mayans knew peedoodlysquat about anything? I don't think they even predicted the precipitous fall of their own civilization, so I don't put much store in their prognosticating abilities. Show me some shit they got right, and I might take them seriously.

We Need a Better GOP

Some of my conspecifics of the Democratic persuasion are glad that the GOP has gone completely over to the dark side and is now almost exclusively the party of batshit. Its leaders are the likes of Limbaugh, Beck and Palin so my conspecifics reckon that the GOP will be too scary for most people now.

This is not a good thing as far as I'm concerned. Since we have two party system, it is never a good idea to have one of those parties committed to insanity. Americans are so stupid that they might just vote the maniacs into power. They did it in 2000 and 2004, although in those days we couldn't be sure that the crazy wing would take complete control of the party.

A healthier American political system calls for two parties that are pretty much the same and both of which are capable of actually governing when in power.

Makes You Think

I went to the Wikipedia and looked up mass murderers. They have lists of shooters by hate crime, workplace shootings, school shootings, slaughter of families. Based on the names of the killers in the US, it looks like the Ft Hood shooter was the only one that was a Muslim. So if I call for special attention to be paid to Muslims as potential spree shooters, what does that make me?

Tim McVeigh was a Roman Catholic. I didn't hear a whole lot of talk about screening Catholics after he blew up a building. After all, there have been lots of Irish Catholic terrorists, mostly in Ulster, so the Oklahoma City bombing could have been seen as par for the course. Why wasn't it?

Eric Rudolph also identified himself as a Roman Catholic. When he murdered folks based on his religious beliefs there was no call to monitor Catholics. Why not?

Ft Hood Shooter

Know what I'm going to say about the Ft Hood shooter before the facts come out? Nothing!

Know why? Because I am self aware and would be ashamed if my dumbass speculation turned out to be wrong.

I wish more people were like me.

Lay Off Pit Bulls

Mrs Vache Folle and I are big boosters of pit bulls. Now that I've lived with one for a few years, I don't think I'll ever get any other breed. We get annoyed when we hear folks say things like,"Little Timmy McCracken was bitten by a pit bull." Why mention the breed? Most of the time the dog in question was not, in fact, a pit bull. Nobody ever says "A golden retriever attacked Granny!" or such like even though every breed of dog is liable to attack someone under the right circumstances.

It's analogous to including a reference to a person's religion or ethnicity in a statement about their alleged crimes. "Robin and Holden McGroin of Brewster were swindled by a Chinaman last month." "A Negro driver struck the sign post, causing damage estimated at $800." "The Roman Catholic gunman was killed in a shootout with police." "Scotsman arrested in bribery case."

TV Watching

We left season 4 of Weeds on a cliffhanger, and season 5 is not yet available from NetFlix. We've moved on to season 1 of Big Love. I had only seen the most recent season before and was hoping for some background. Season 1 was pretty much the same as the last season but with more multimarital sex. You'd think old Joe Smith would have come up with a way to mandate a four way, but I reckon he was killed before he had that revelation.

We haven't watched much regular TV since we got the NetFlix subscription. The only show we catch by appointment is The Biggest Loser where morbidly obese people compete to lose weight. Each week, two contestants who lose the least percentage of body weight are liable to be voted off, and each week the voting contestants vote off the wrong person. The right way to vote is to get rid of the fatter person who is apt to lose more weight and put you below the yellow line in a future weigh in. If a superfat guy has a bad week and is up for a vote, that's your chance to eliminate a real competitor. But no, the contestants always vote based on other idiotic criteria and screw themselves. Great fun.

The Daily Show repeat moved to 7 pm so I don't catch it as often as when it was on at 8. I watch documentaries on The Science Channel or Discovery. The History Channel seems to have turned into the crazy hokum channel with a fixation on Nostradamus and Gods from Outer Space and Atlantis.

I Am Apathetic

I voted yesterday, but I'm not sure why I bothered. It was easy since all I had to do was pull the lever on every Democrat on the ballot. I vote entirely based on spite and self preservation, although our Hudson Valley Republicans seeking local offices (a) aren't as batshit insane as their copunterparts in other regions, and (b) can't do much harm on the East Fishkill town council or Highway Department.

I just don't give much of a shit about politics these days except to keep one eye open for incursions by the wingnut Christianists and those in their coalition of crazies.

Eschatology

I have been thinking about eschatology lately and have decided that it's a mystery. We don't have enough to go on to know when Gotterdammerung will come about or what it will look like. Maybe we won't even know that it has happened. One day we'll be plugging away as usual and the next thing you know we're living in the Kingdom of Heaven.

I'm not afraid to speculate, and I have some eschatological suspicions that I'll share now for what they are worth. I have not had any special revelation from God, nor am I trained in theology, but I do have some completely irrational beliefs about our ultimate fate that I reckon are as authoritative as anyone else's.

Judgment Day is billions or trillions of years away, and we will have become a class 3 or better galactic or intergalactic civilization by then. The teachings of Jesus, as practiced by those who actually understand them and in whom the Spirit dwells, will be the characteristic of humanity that permits us, among all the intelligent species in the universe, to avoid destroying ourselves and to go on to the next levels of civilization. Our technological advancement will go hand in hand with our ability to love. Love will inspire us to occupy the whole universe. We will be a blessing to the universe, and the Kingdom of God will encompass everything.

Earth will be long gone by then, and I can't imagine what kind of beings our descendants will be by then. They may not even be flesh and blood.